A FLASH IN THE PUN

In writing about Boilerplate, the latest fictional character whom I'd like to see get a televersion, I mentioned a previous candidate - Harry Flashman. Flashman was the school bully in "Ton Brown's School Days", a Victorian novel by Thomas Hughes. The book has been filmed several times, and twice for television, so Harry Flashman has had his day in the cathode sun, but there was more to his life than his school days.

Not only because it was the first production broadcast, but also because its episodic form as a TV series provided the opportunity to add as much detail from the novel as possible, the 1971 TV version is the one established in Earth Prime-Time. (The later version from 2005 does boast the presence of Stephen Fry as Dr. Thomas Arnold, though. Tempting as that is, that version has to remain in the Land of Remakes.) 

Harry Flashman attacks Tom Brown

In 1969, George MacDonald Fraser published "Flashman", an historical novel purportedly based on the recently discovered papers of Harry Flashman. Over the course of twelve novels, Fraser recounted Flashman's exploits from his early twenties to advanced old age. And along the way, Flashman had adventures in which he crossed paths with many historical figures.

(As a side note, I highly recommend these books, especially if you enjoy salacious depictions of Victorian ribaldry - a lot of "rogering" goes on, which was an excellent source of... shall we say, "inspiration" to a lad in his teens. That is, so I've heard.....)

So far, none of the "Flashman" novels have been adapted for television, although the second novel, "Royal Flash", does have a home in the Cineverse as a movie starring Malcolm McDowall as Harry, with Alan Bates and Oliver Reed in support.

I think the Fraser series of novels about Harry Flashman would make for a great TV series on HBO or Showtime or even Starz, especially with the freedom provided by a premium channel to portray prurient content. (Ah, alliteration!) With the success of 'Game Of Thrones' on HBO and 'The Borgias' and 'The Tudors' on Showtime, perhaps its time to give old Flash a shot.....

I'd like to think that, even without a television series or made for TV movie already established, Harry Flashman's life in Toobworld at least follows the basic guidelines set down by Fraser for a thoroughly debauched life led by Flashman. After all, even though we might not see it take place on our TV screens, Harry Flashman's life did continue after the events of the "Tom Brown's School Days" TV series had ended. 

Harry Flashman
with Tom Brown & Scud East

So let's assume that the Rugby School bully grew up to become a lecherous, immoral coward at least similar to, if not exactly like, the Flashman depicted by Fraser. This TV Flashman would end up rogering his way through the ladies of his times, perhaps even with fictional females from other TV series. (Let's say a parlor maid or two in the Bellamy household a decade or two before we met them on screen?)

Being a bounder and a cad, Flashman would not have been morally constrained from any dalliances with married women; and he would have no qualms in leading a young lady on with false promises of betrothal, in order to bed her and rob her of her virtue. And in the course of such a pursuit, he might have proferred a false identity in order to elude being sued for breach of promise. 

From the movie "Royal Flash"
But the Toobworld Flashman would find himself in a similar situation

Let's say he did pluck a young lovely's virginity and with such skill that she acquiesced without even learning his name. But as Flashman made ready to flee the following morning, suddenly the deflowered miss might have inquired as to who he was. Caught off-guard, he may have concocted a fake name on the spot.

But what name might he have used?

The Belgian detective Hercule Poirot was faced with such a situation while investigating a murder aboard a particular train.

"'I claim no credit this time. It was not a guess. Countess Andrenyi practically told me.'

'Comment? Surely not?'

'You remember I asked her about her governess or companion? I had already decided in my mind that if Mary Debenham were mixed up in the matter, she must have figured in the household in some such capacity.'

'Yes, but the Countess Andrenyi described a totally different person.'

'Exactly. A tall, middle-aged woman with red hair - in fact, the exact opposite in every respect of Miss Debenham, so much so as to be quite remarkable. But then she had to invent a name quickly, and there it was that the unconscious association of ideas gave her away. She said Miss Freebody, you remember.'

'Yes?'

'Eh bien, you may not know it, but there is a shop in London that was called, until recently, Debenham & Freebody. With the name Debenham running in her head, the Countess clutches at another name quickly, and the first that comes is Freebody. Naturally I understood immediately.'"

Oftentimes, false identities are similar enough to the original to make them easier to remember. (This is probably why almost everybody in the Albuquerque WITSEC program usually keeps their first names - unless it's something strange and/or Amish like Yonni - and gets a last name with the same initial as their original last name.)

A similar situation may have arisen for Harry Flashman when pressed by a romantic conquest to reveal his identity.

There are two ways in which he may have gone with his reasoning to choose the name I have in mind.

ONE - thinking of other uses for his particular variation on his name, he might have thought of the phrase "Flash of lightning".

TWO - This coital quandary may have taken place after his return from the Crimean War. (Again, only if Harry Flashman's TV existence followed the same pattern as that established in the literary universe.) Thinking back on his alleged involvement in the most infamous battle, which took place in late October of 1854, Flashman might have drawn inspiration from the regiment immortalized in the poem by Alfred, Lord Tennyson.

So whether it was "lightning" or the "Light Brigade", Flashman might have combined the key word with the last part of his own name right there on the spot and convinced her that his name was Lightman. 

An older Harry Flashman

And off he would have absconded, assured that he would never see her again.

But he may have left a little something to remember him by....

Again, this is all speculation, so why stop now?

What if some woman he rogered found herself pregnant, by this fellow named "Lightman"? O'Bviously she was never going to track him down to do right by her. But she might still have given the child the last name of its father, never knowing how false it was.

And so the family tree of Dr. Carl Lightman might have been established.........

SHOWS CITED:
'Tom Brown's School Days'
'Lie To Me'
'Agatha Christie's Poirot'
'Upstairs, Downstairs'
'In Plain Sight'

OTHER SOURCES:
"Murder On The Orient Express"
"Tom Brown's School Days"
"Flashman"
"Royal Flash"
"Flashman At The Charge"

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OOH, LA LAW

ROSE:

"Every Sunday I watch 'la Law'."

DOROTHY:
"That's 'L.A. Law'!"
(Later)
SOPHIA:

"Very nice 'counselor'!

Just exactly how close are you to the TV when you're watching 'la Law'?"

'The Golden Girls'

With this example of a Zonk, there's no mention of the MacKenzie-Brackman law firm. So it could be that 'L.A. Law' in Toobworld was the generic title for a reality show, along the same lines as 'L.A. Ink'... only about lawyers.

That reality show could still have been about MacKenzie-Brackman, especially since some of the kids left their zip code comfort zone of 'Beverly Hills 90210' and drove by the office building where the law firm was located - and one of them mentioned that he didn't watch the show.

Three of the actors who starred in 'L.A. Law' in the Trueniverse were mentioned in connection to the show - Harry Hamlin (on 'Six Feet Under'), Jimmy Smits (on 'Married... With Children'), and Corbin Bernsen (in episodes of 'Just Shoot Me', 'Seinfeld', and 'Matlock'). But here's a possible splainin: they all appeared as themselves on the reality show called 'L.A. Law', with the law firm handling cases for them.

Another mention of interest - in 'Psych', Henry Spenser was a likely candidate to be the identical cousin of Arnold Becker. And back in 1989, Henry thought the show would be a passing fad (despite the involvement of his cousin.) With all of these mentions - even into the new millennium! -  if it is a reality show in Toobworld, it proved to have legs.

Finally, Alan Rachins appeared in an episode of 'Eli Stone' in which he was credited as a "Familiar Lawyer". Longtime visitors to Toobworld know that I don't put much stock in credits, but I think it would be safe to assume that he was actually Douglas Brackman.

But here's the thing - representing Eli at his disbarment hearing, this "familiar lawyer" was working for a law firm called McKinley-Breckman, not MacKenzie-Brackman.

It's a bit intricate, and built on sand, but here's how it might work.....

'L.A. Law' went off the air in 1994, but its last appearance in Toobworld was in 2002 with the reunion TV movie. So in that six year span, until Rachins showed up in that 'Eli Stone' episode, anything could have happened to Douglas Brackman.

It could be that he finally committed an act of sexual deviance so heinous that the partners of the firm had no choice but to convene and drum him out of the firm with a vote. Desperate to still trade on the firm's name to build up business for himself, Douglas could have incorporated himself as a law firm with fictional partners named McKinley and Breckman. (We've seen that happen before in Toobworld - 'Eisenhower & Lutz'.)

Douglas may have wanted to make the potential client think he was still affiliated with McKenzie-Brackman, hoping they weren't too familiar with the original firm's name. Eli Stone would have known the difference, but it wouldn't have mattered. He wanted the best lawyer for the situation, and probably no one knew the intricacies of office politics in a law firm better than Douglas Brackman.

Anyhoo, it's pozz'ble, just pozz'ble.....

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THE HAT SQUAD: DON DIAMOND

Chief Wild Eagle & Crazy Cat
'F Troop'

Crazy Cat: Friends, Hekawis, countrymen, we are gathered here today to say good-bye to Chief Wild Eagle who has gone to last big pow wow in sky. He was good chief, wise chief, with heart as big as his mouth.

Wild Eagle: Again you try to bury me?

Crazy Cat: Chief Wild Eagle. Just practicing speech I wrote for when we wrap your skin in buffalo hide, put it on your favorite pony, and send him to...

Wild Eagle: Never mind the funeral arrangements.

Crazy Cat: Must be prepared chief. You could go any minute.

Wild Eagle: That's why you practice funeral speech?

Crazy Cat: Have to practice. Would you want me to say burial speech for great chief off top of head?

Wild Eagle: You keep practicing speech and you get tomahawk off top of head.

('F Troop')

Don Diamond, who played Crazy Cat on the anachronistic Western sitcom 'F Troop', passed away on June 19th at the age of 90.

What I always liked about his character was his line delivery, the off-beat inflection in the way he spoke. There was something to suggest he may have been a precursor to the hippies, that he might have been strung out on Kickapoo Joy Juice (mixing references). And then again, it was the kind of voice that suggested he really was crazy. His interest in the possible demise of Wild Eagle certainly was an indication that he might hasten that eventuality.

I have to admit that he did fall into that category of "I thought he was already dead", I'm afraid. But I'm glad to see that I was wrong for as long as I was.

Good night and may God bless.

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"VEENA SUD," SAID VEENA SUD.....

Near the end of my Toobworld novel, a race of elves are created after the "Big Hiatus". Along with the puppet trees, they are a tip of my hat to the influence which J.R.R. Tolkien has had on me.

I've even suggested a language for these elves (whom I think now will probably resemble the Targaryens from 'Game Of Thrones' as their TV influence), which I may as well call toobish. It was created from the names of people involved in the production of TV back home in the real world, and a few examples are given - "mirren" means twin, "tennant" means decade, "pertwee" is a child, "wendt" would be all the permutations of "to go", and "zmed" would be something you don't want to step in.....

Thanks to the season finale of 'The Killing' (which for me is now the series finale as well), I have a complete phrase to be used by the elves, these kendal (for want of a better collective name in toobish for them) - "veena sud".

Veena Sud is the producer who adapted a well-received international murder mystery TV show and reduced it, maligned it, ruined it, with this sluggish, dull, drawn-out affair peopled with paper-thin cyphers for characters. And then as the final thumb in the eye (a turn of phrase from Alan Sepinwall) for the audience, she denied them the opportunity to learn who the murderer was at the end of the season, instead holding off until next season for that revelation... if then. She claims that it was never stated that the answer would be revealed by season's end, but it was implied with the way the show was advertised ("Who killed Rosie Larsen?").

Veena Sud took a promising property and trampled it all into a steaming pile of zmed.

So "veena sud" is a phrase that basically means what Veena Sud has told an audience who put good faith into sticking through the whole sad/sorry series, waiting for an answer.

"Veena sud" - "Bleep you."


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ALT-COLUMBO II

Thanks to TV shows like 'Fringe', 'Star Trek: Deep Space Nine', 'Hercules: The Legendary Journeys', and 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer', and of course, 'Sliders', we know that alternate TV dimensions contain the counterparts of characters to be found in the main Toobworld.

Which means that this clip from a movie could be that of Lt. Columbo from the "Evil Mirror Universe"......

If he ever said, "Just one more thing" in this TV dimension, I'd be afraid he was going to whip out a knife!

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THE ALICIA LINE: A THEORY OF RELATEEVEETY

The Toobworld concept is basically a fantasy universe with mythological overtones and many of the trappings of Fantasy. Wizards, dragons, quests, enchanted/enchanting maidens, and objects imbued with great power all have their counterparts in the TV Universe.

This post, while a theory of relateeveety, will take a look at one such fairy tale aspect - the evil stepmother and the absence of the princess' real mother.....

'Flying Blind' was a FOX sitcom that ran for only one season (1992-93) and will be chiefly remembered for bringing Tea Leoni to national prominence. (She certainly caught my attention!)

Leoni played a mysterious free spirit named Alicia caught up in an affair with a tightly-wound recent college graduate named Neil Barash, whose mannerisms suggested that he worshipped
at the altar of Woody Allen. (Not sure the Catholic imagery works in a Woody Allen analogy though....)

And by "mysterious", I mean we never learned very much about Alicia, not even her last name. We got to meet her father, a spy and adventurer who may have fathered children in the South Seas, but we never even learned his name at all; he was just "Daddy" to Alicia (and "Sir" to Neil).

Alicia would talk about her mother, but the woman sounded like a horrid witch, as bad as - if not worse than! - the mother of the 'Absolutely Fabulous' Patsy Stone.

Here's a good example - when Alicia finally came downstairs ready for her high school prom, she found that her mother had already seduced Alicia's prom date, and she was rolling a cocktail onion across his stomach with her tongue.

By the time 'Flying Blind' took place, Alicia's Dad must have divorced that harridan because he mentioned that he had a girl-friend when he showed up and Alicia didn't treat the news as though he was cheating on her mother.

For Toobworld's purposes, I don't think that woman was actually Alicia's mother; rather, she was Alicia's evil step-mother, who had been in Alicia's life for so long that it just made things simpler for Alicia to refer to her as "Mother" whenever she mentioned her.

She may not even have remembered her true mother, whom I believe passed away when Alicia was only a few years old. And I have a candidate for Alicia's birth mother, as well as a theory about her family tree that would bring in not only 'Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea' but also 'The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes' as well.

Here are two online descriptions of the episode from 'Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea' entitled "Escape From Venice":
ONE



A smiling, happy and relaxed Lee Crane, looking oh so dashing in a white tux, steps into a Venetian gondola with a very pretty girl. But romance is the last thing on the couple's mind. Crane has gone undercover in Venice to pick up a secret code from another agent -- the seemingly innocent girl in the white veil. However, unbeknownst to Crane and Alicia, the enemy is on to them. The girl is viciously murdered, Crane is severely wounded, framed for the murder, and is now a hunted man. Now the only person on earth who knows the code, Crane must stay alive long enough for Nelson to effect a rescue.

TWO

Crane and Alicia, a female agent, are in a gondola in Venice, Italy. She sings Crane a song with lots of LaLas. Then he sings it--it is a message which will decode Dr. Leonetti's tapes which explain a defense against the ultimate weapon. Leonetti, Crane calls Seaview and tells them, is dead. His body was fished out from under a canal--and they are calling it suicide. A young sandy haired man is in the radio shack aboard Seaview, not Sparks. If the song is put through the computer, sonically, it will decode the tapes. As Alicia begins to sing it over the radio to Seaview--the gondolier, an enemy agent, stabs her in the back through the curtain. She gives Crane the key and address to the safe house and dies. Crane fights the killer but falls overboard in the fight. The killer calls for help in Italian.

It will be my contention that the late and lovely spy named Alicia was the mother of Alicia from 'Flying Blind'.

'Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea' took place in the early 1970's, even though it was broadcast a decade earlier. If we do a bit of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey juggling, Alicia would have been about five years old when her mother was murdered on that gondola.


Alicia's Dad in the late 1960's



I think Alicia's Dad met that agent named Alicia during the course of an undercover operation and they fell in love. Whether or not they got married, I don't know; but I'd like to think that their relationship resulted in the birth of a daughter which "Dad" insisted on naming after his wife (although it may have been that he was following a tradition from the maternal side of his wife's family).

After Alicia was murdered in Venice, a distraught "Dad" may have unwisely married a woman simply to give his baby daughter a maternal influence. He had no clue at the time that she would turn out to be the stereotypical evil stepmother.

Regarding the naming of Alicia after her mother, it's possible that this was a family tradition handed down through the generations along the maternal branch of her family tree. I don't know if they would all prove to be free spirits and adventuresses, but it just might be that one of them was singular enough back in the late 1800's to have a ship named after her:

"The cutter Alicia, which sailed one spring morning into a small patch of mist from where she never again emerged, nor was anything further ever heard of herself and her crew."

Dr. Watson mentioned this case of Sherlock Holmes in the "Thor Bridge" story, which had to have occurred before October 1899. (Although "The Problem Of Thor Bridge" was adapted for the series starring Jeremy Brett and Edward Hardwicke, we hear no mention of this case which never received a full report from Holmes' Boswell. Then again, it may still lay unread in a safe deposit box near Charing Cross.....)

As usual with my theories of relateeveety, I can't prove any of this. But as it's unlikely 'Flying Blind' will ever be revived (Forget about Brett's Holmes and 'Voyage'!), then it can't really be disproved either.

Since 'Flying Blind' was canceled after only one season, I have no idea if Neil and Alicia are still together twenty years later. But as with most fairy tales, I'd like to think they lived happily ever after........

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AND HERE NOW, THE NEWS......

FAIR WARNING:

“What’s the news across the nation

We have got the information

In a way we hope will amuse you

We just love to give you our views

Ladies and gents, ‘Laugh-In’ looks at the news.”

 

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THE SUPER SIX LIST: MEETING YOUR "MAKER"

Because of the news about Donald Trump dropping out of the 2012 Presidential race, and the appearance by the real Lindsey Buckingham on this past week's edition of 'Saturday Night Live', I came up with this Super Six List......

SIX CELEBRITY IMPERSONATORS WHO MET THE REAL VERSIONS

ON 'SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'

1] MARK ZUCKERBERG
When Jesse Eisenberg, who played Zuckerberg in the movie "The Social Network", hosted 'Saturday Night Live', Zuckerberg left the backstage area where he had been watching with Lorne Michaels to "confront" the actor on stage. Then we got a triple play when they were joined by Andy Samberg as his televersion of Zuckerberg.

2] LINDSEY BUCKINGHAM
Every time SNL does the sketch about the BET show "What's Up With That?", they always have two celebrities playing themselves as the guests with Bill Hader as Buckingham for the third guest. Whether the other celebrities ever get to say something or not, Hader's Buckingham has never had the chance to say even one word. But this week, even as Hader sat there on the panel with musical guest Paul Simon and Chris Colfer of 'Glee', the real Buckingham came out and jammed during the "What's Up With That" continuous theme song.

And even after all of that, Hader's televersion still didn't get to speak!

3] JANET RENO
As Will Ferrell ran out the clock on his tenure with 'Saturday Night Live', he appeared one last time as former Attorney General Janet Reno, hosting "Janet Reno's House Party." But suddenly the wall caved in behind him and out stepped the League of Themselves member to confront him about his portrayal. And fashion disaster alert - they both wore the same dress!

4] ALEX TREBEK
In a similar fashion, Ferrell hosted one last installment of "Celebrity Jeopardy" (at least until he came back to host) as the game show host, only to be confronted by Trebek as well. I think if Trebek was really bleeped off about anything to do with the portrayal, it would have been the fact that Ferrell never put any effort into the impression.

Real Alex Trebek: And so this was Final Jeopardy. And what a ride it has been, from Burt Reynolds to Minnie Driver, but boy, oh boy, those celebrities did not know the right answers to any of your questions.

Alex Trebek: No, they did not. They were very stupid.

Real Alex Trebek: You got that right.

Sean Connery: Well, well, two Trebeks. I feel like I'm in a Raisin Bran commercial: "two scoops of fruit".

Real Alex Trebek: Back off, Connery. I don't have to take that from you.

Sean Connery: I guess it's true, old married couples do start to look alike.

Alex Trebek: Okay, please. From all of us to all of you, good night.

Real Alex Trebek: Good night.

5] MICHAEL J. FOX
With these last two entries, there was a slight variation. When Michael J. Fox hosted SNL, there was a great sketch called "America's Most Wanted: Former Child Stars". Fox played Danny Bonaduce while David Spade imitated him, which he had done several times in the past. If you get the chance to see the sketch, you'll notice Fox has a hard time keeping a straight face as Spade goes through his histrionics after being shot. "Mallory......!"

6] DONALD TRUMP
Last and certainly least, Donald Trump played a simple man who was a Donald Trump look-alike in a take-off on Mark Twain's "The Prince And The Pauper", with Darrell Hammond once again playing the Hair. (Two weeks ago, Hammond returned to SNL one more time in order to play Trump in an "Undeclared Republican Candidates Debate".)

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THE MOLE MEN IN "COUGAR TOWN"

I said I'd have more to say about the Mole Men.....

In the latest episode of 'Cougar Town', Jules Cobb tried to rouse her son Travis out of his funk over the breakup with Kristin by turning on the lights in the living room. When he groaned in protest, she quickly turned them off again to please him.

"We can keep it dark," she said. "We could live like mole people. They're real, you know. They live in sewers and -#" And then she awkwardly left the room, acting like a Mole Man.

Maybe Jules was trying to at least get a chuckle out of him, but nothing indicated that she didn't think Mole Men actually existed. And since we know the Superman of Earth Prime-Time encountered them, the news of their existence must have spread from Metropolis to West Gulfhaven over the last sixty years.

But somehow, Jules got the facts twisted along the way......

Toobworld note - "Superman And The Mole Men" may have started out in the Cineverse, but it's been absorbed into the TV Universe. In fact, it was later shown as a two-part episode of the series.

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O'BSERVATIONS: "YOU THINK I KILLED HIM!"

Every so often a phrase pops up that I hear far too often in TV dialogue. One of the first that I noticed was "He is, of course, quite mad." You'd think that one should have been unique, rarely used.

Two guys fed a ton of movie and television scripts into a computer to find out which phrase was the most often used. They went into the project with the preconceived notion that it would be "I love you."

It turned out to be "Let's get out of here."

The one that bothers me most is "It's complicated." I see it as a lazy writing crutch.

The latest one to ping on my radar is "You think I killed him?" and its variations. In fact there has been an example each week for the last three weeks. And that's just from the shows I watch.

'THE KILLING'
Bennet Ahmed, one of Rosie Larsen's high school teachers, made the question more specific: "You think I killed Rosie?"

'THE MENTALIST'
Shelley was the victim's girl-friend and she was the first on the list of suspects. "You think I killed him?"

'BODY OF PROOF'
The latest example was another teacher, Professor Jack Elliott, and he also made it specific to the victim: "You think I killed Lizzie?"

The accent can be placed on "I" if the speaker can't believe the police suspect him or her. If it's placed on "killed", that usually means the body hasn't been found yet. And if the accent is on "You think", then it's more of a statement of fact than a question.

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THE PETERSON-DELAWARE FEUD

There have been a lot of inspirations for the Toobworld concept: "The Incompleat Enchanter" by Fletcher Pratt and L. Sprague deCamp, "The Magic Umbrella" by Marvin Kaye, and the "Cineverse" trilogy by Craig Shaw Gardner. And there was also the research done by the Mythopoeic Society and the Baker Street Irregulars into the minutiae of Tolkien's and Conan Doyle's work, respectively.

As an example, the birthday for Sherlock Holmes was never stated by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, but Christopher Morley was able to extrapolate that it was January 6.

Here's how the City Room blog of the New York Times described the process in 2009:

Another argument for Jan. 6 was made by William S. Baring-Gould, who produced the first annotated Sherlock Holmes collection. He and others have argued that “The Valley of Fear,” the final Sherlock Holmes novel, starts on Jan. 7.

Mr. Holmes seems to be a little cranky at the beginning of the story and snaps at Dr. John H. Watson. But why would he be in a bad mood? Because of a hangover. Why would he have a hangover? He must have been celebrating the night before. What could he have been celebrating? Certainly it was his birthday.

So I try to do the same thing with the trivial nuggets I pick up along my own path of Toobworld research.

My latest theory concerns the reason for the antagonism between Secret Service agent Peterson and former FBI agent Canton Everett Delaware III in the season premiere of 'Doctor Who'. (That's right! Despite that mini-marathon of blog posts last week, I'm still not done with the two-parter of "The Impossible Astronaut" and "Day Of The Moon".)

To me, it looked as though there was bad blood between "Three-Part Canton" and Peterson even before the security breach caused by the Doctor's arrival in the Oval Office. And since the Time Lord was able to slip the police box right past Peterson, that only put him deeper into the defensive.

But I think their antagonism, based on their remarks (especially Canton's), showed that there already was no love lost between them.

And I also think "love" is the operative word.

First, based on what has been shown during the first season of 'Covert Affairs', there are certain bars favored by members of the intelligence community in the nation's capital. Some would be frequented by the CIA only, others by the FBI. There may be others which cater to both the Secret Service as well as the FBI.

And it's not like agents go to these bars only to hobnob with each other; if you're working with someone for a full 8 hour plus shift, do you really want to extend that relationship into your downtime?

So it's pozz'ble, just pozz'ble, that some agents might meet in these common bars with friends of theirs from outside of work, perhaps even with family members.

What if Secret Service agent Peterson had a brother, who came into town to visit his older sibling? Wouldn't it be likely Peterson would take that brother out once he was off-duty, perhaps start off at the bar he liked to frequent as a way of showing the brother what he did in his off-hours?

Now, let's go back to one of the last scenes in "Day Of The Moon", after the Doctor and his Companions departed the Oval Office, leaving former agent Canton Everett Delaware III alone with President Richard Nixon.

As he left, the Doctor urged the President to allow Canton the chance to get married, which was the reason why he had left the FBI. At the time, his desire to marry was at odds with the Agency's policy and with the Law.

Nixon assumed the most likely obstacle - "This person you want to marry... black?"

Canton replied, "Yes."

Nixon: "I know what people think of me, but perhaps I'm a little more liberal than—"

But Canton cut him off: "He is."

That revelation was something Nixon wasn't ready to deal with.......

So that got me thinking - who was it that Canton wanted to marry?

What if Canton was in that same bar on the night when Peterson brought his brother in for a drink? Having a professional acquaintance, perhaps Peterson saw Canton barside and brought over his brother to introduce him to the FBI agent. Maybe he thought it might impress his brother.

Imagine his shock when it became obvious that his brother was more than impressed!

The anger that he felt toward Canton because of the relationship that developed between him and Peterson's brother may have been rerouted from how he felt towards his own flesh and blood. Instead of accepting the fact that his brother was a homosexual, he instead blamed Canton for leading the brother down a path he must have seen as aberrant - as if his brother had a choice in his sexual orientation, and despite the fact that the brother was just as much into Canton.

And Canton was not the type of man to be lenient towards Peterson because his thinking was fast becoming outdated. (The Stonewall riots had just happened that previous month.)  I'm sure he would have reveled in the opportunity to show Peterson up.

And that would be why Canton and Peterson were already at odds with each other, before the Doctor even showed up.

This is all predicated on the suggestion that Agent Peterson had a brother, of course.....

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ON "THE VAST WASTELAND"

Check out Stephen Bowie's very interesting perspective on the state of Television, fifty years to the day when Newton Minow's famous quote entered the lexicon. 

The Classic TV History Blog is a member of the blog-roll, to found to the right.  While you're there, check out the other articles he has up currently.....

BCnU!

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GAME OF THROWN*

Down in Florida, Michael Podniestrzanski “got into a verbal altercation” with his cousin over which character in the HBO series 'Game Of Thrones' would win in battle. The argument became so intense that Podniestrzanski eventually threw the cousin through the front window.

I get the feeling they never even considered checking the internet; there's at least one Wiki out there dedicated to the fantasy novel series by George R.R. Martin......

It's like Arthur Dales (the one played by Darren McGavin) said in an episode of 'The X-Files':

"Everything weird ends up in Florida."

For more........

 BCnU!

* I'm not the first to use that pun.  I won't be the last....

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AROUND "CAPE" ZONKS

In "Paradigms Of Human Memory", 'Community' took a few jabs at one of the biggest losers on their parent network, and I don't mean "The Biggest Loser". I'm talking about the super-hero series 'The Cape'.

From Wikipedia:
'The Cape' is an American superhero drama series. It premiered on NBC during the 2010–2011 television season as a mid-season replacement beginning with a 2-hour pilot episode on Sunday, January 9, 2011 at 9 PM Eastern and Pacific Time, with follow-up episodes continuing on Monday evenings in the 9 PM time slot beginning on January 17. NBC subsequently cut the total number of episodes to be aired from 13 to 10 as a result of low ratings. On March 2, 2011, NBC announced that the series finale would only be aired on the network's web site.

I had the two-hour pilot for 'The Cape' in my DVR queue, but I kept putting off actually watching it until it was too late - the DVR died. (Some claim I worked it to death, but I think this time, it was suicide....)

So everything I had saved on there was lost. But I'm told by reliable sources (Hi, Rob!) that the pilot was okay, but that the series quickly went downhill with the second episode.

Nevertheless, even without having seen any of it, I feel confident that 'The Cape' can remain in the main Toobworld. A few attempts to Zonk it by the student body of Greendale Community College isn't going to prevent that.

What helps the case is that 'The Cape' is such a generic title that even if we were to adhere to it being in the superhero genre, it still doesn't mean it had to be about the exact same guy whom we - well, some of you - were watching on the TV show in the real world.

And the Toobworld version of 'The Cape' still doesn't have to be about a superhero at all, if all we have to go by are the references in the 'Community' episode. Abed was running around the cafeteria in a cape, but it wasn't like he was doing super-heroic things. It looked more like his version of 'The Cape' was about some caped clod who caused problems because he liked to wear a cape that always got in his way. (In the example shown, the cape ended up knocking Jeff's food tray to the floor.)

Here are the Zonks about 'The Cape' offered up during the episode:

Jeff yelled after the fleeing Abed - "It won't last three weeks!" Ever the optimist, Abed shouted back - "Six years and a movie!"

Britta barged in on Abed and Troy just as they were about to watch the premiere of 'The Cape' and switched the TV over to the news reports coming out of Tunisia. (And if the premiere of the Toobworld version was the same as in the Trueniverse, the bitch just picked a random night to pull this stunt - the revolt didn't actually happen for another five days.)

In a more conciliatory mood, Jeff allowed that maybe 'The Cape' would find new life on cable.

As you can see, none of those are specific enough to actually be Zonks against the real TV series.

My work here is done. Up, up, and away!

BCnU!

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AS SEEN ON TV: VICTORIAN RECASTAWAYS

Two previously featured historical figures from the early years of Queen Victoria's reign.......

BARON VON STOCKMAR

AS PLAYED BY:
Noel Willman

BARONESS LEHZEN

AS PLAYED BY:
Patience Collier

AS SEEN IN (FOR BOTH):
'Edward The King'

Both roles have been featured in the ASOTV showcase before: Baron Von Stockmar and Baroness Lehzen were shown as they appeared in the two-part TV movie "Victoria & Albert", played by David Suchet and Dame Diana Rigg, respectively. And so the links will provide the previously posted information on their roles in the Court of Queen Victoria.

Since the Wikipedia info-nuggets usually found in the showcase can be found elsewhere, we can instead examine the role of historical recastaways in the TV Universe......

The problem of recasting an historical figure causes the most problems for Toobworld Central when it comes to their appearances in regular TV series. As a good example, consider one of the main characters in both 'Edward The King' and "Victoria & Albert" - Queen Victoria. It would be the desire of Toobworld Central to keep all of the following shows in Earth Prime-Time:

'Bewitched'
'Doctor Who'
'Red Dwarf'
'Voyagers!'
'Cribb'

And yet each of them featured a different actress playing the part of Queen Victoria.

We finally had to make like Slartibartfast, where "the only thing to do is to say, 'Hang the sense of it' and accept them all, with the proviso that for the most part, the differences between portrayals of historical figures in TV series was due to the audience seeing them through the filter of Time as well as the memory of some character. For the most part.....

It's not the most perfect solution, but 'twill serve.

By the way, it would be the portrayal of Queen Victoria by Prunella Scales in three different TV productions which is the official version for Earth Prime-Time.

As for the many recastaways for characters like Queen Victoria, Marilyn Monroe, Presidents Kennedy, Lincoln, and Washinton, etc. that can be found in TV movies and mini-series, there are plenty of alternate TV dimensions, thanks to the basic premise of 'Sliders' for each of them to find a home away from Earth Prime-Time.

But TV characters, even the historical ones, are like digital Colorforms - to be moved from one diorama to another, especially when it comes to populating the perfect Toobworld.

For instance, in this example we're going to use "Bertie", the son of Queen Victoria who had to wait so long to become King. We're accepting Timothy West's portrayal of 'Edward The King' to be the official version of the royal role. We also accept Francesca Annis as Lillie Langtry to be the official portrayal of the actress* and Bertie's mistress, since she not only played the role in 'Edward The King', but in her own mini-series as well. However, in 'Lillie', the role of Bertie was played by Dennis Lill, so he would be sent off to an alternate TV dimension.

As for our featured historical figures of today? There it is a mandate based on personal preference. I'm a big fan of David Suchet and - Homina Thrice! - Dame Diana Rigg, and therefore it is their portrayals of Baron Von Stockmar and Baroness Lehzen which are the "official" portraits in the main Toobworld gallery.

Like I said, it's not the perfect solution, but since the Toobworld concept is my sandbox, I get the final say on the action figures. (I learned at an early age never to get sand on my Colorforms.....)

Anyhoo.... Two for Tuesday!

BCnU!

*While she was alive - for Lillie Langtry as the undead vampiress in the TV series "Kindred: The Embraced", we also accept Stacy Haiduk in the role. (The splainin is that she was somehow physically altered by her "embrace" into the Kindred......)

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WESTEROS ON MONDAS - A GAME OF ZONKS

I've alluded to this several times in the last few weeks - as far as Toobworld Central is concerned, the televersion of 'Game Of Thrones' is located in the main TV Universe, just not on Earth Prime-Time. Its' "our" claim that the realm of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros was located on the original Earth, Mondas. ("Mondas" means "Earth" in the old languages, according to the Doctor.)

Mondas used to be in 1:1 orbital resonance with Earth Prime-Time. It is not known when it happened, but the Cybermen blasted the planet out of its orbit to roam the galaxy until it was finally destroyed upon its return to the Sol system in 1986.

Mondas is the Earth of the Creation story, made by God and populated with Adam and Eve, the Garden of Eden, the Snake, the whole big blue marble.

Meanwhile, Earth Prime-Time, "mostly harmless" and most similar to our own Earth, was built as a super computer by the Magratheans. Its version of Adam and Eve were astronauts Adam Cooke and Eve Norta, both from other worlds. In fact, it's our contention that Eve Norta escaped from the much older civilizations of Mondas. The "star chart" she drew in the dirt in explanation to Cooke seems to tell the story of Mondas. (As Cooke interpreted it: "That's your planet; that's where you came from. Your planet got out of its orbit and moved away from your sun. That's where you went; that's where your world went. But you got out.......")  This means Mondas had developed interplanetary travel by the time that the Dawn of Mankind was beginning on Earth.

Perhaps Eve Norta brought with her much of the lore of her homeworld, at least in oral tradition which she shared with Adam Cooke... and their children. This would be passed down to the future generations of Mankind and adapted/adopted as their own history and religion.

Being the much older planet, the evolution and civilization of Mondas developed earlier and perhaps even quicker than that on Earth. For one thing, they probably didn't have a Dark Ages which impeded scientific advancement on Earth. That gave Mondas a huge boost in their development.

But they still had a Middle Ages period and its in that era where we at Toobworld Central would situate such shows as 'Wizards And Warriors', 'Legend Of The Seeker', and of course, the show that just premiered on HBO, 'Game Of Thrones'. So that way, the TV Universe can keep the land of Westeros - as well as the realms of D'Hara ('Legend Of The Seeker') and Karteia and Camarand ('Wizards And Warriors') - without disrupting Earth Prime-Time with any geographical inconsistencies like the Narrow Sea and dragon-shaped continent of Asperans.

 

And yet!

In the week before 'Game Of Thrones' premiered, 'Chuck' Bartowski nearly sabotaged it all with a Zonk......

While reading a volume of George R.R. Martin's "A Song Of Ice And Fire", Chuck notes, "Eddard, you don't let your kids keep a direwolf. That's a terrible idea."

'Tis a Zonk most easily splained away, my Lords and Ladies!

The splainin follows a similar path taken for why 'Star Trek' exists as a series of TV shows sicne the 1960's and yet is the actual future of Toobworld. In that case, someone from the Future - and I'm thinking it has to be a certain Time Lord from Gallifrey - gave the televersion of Gene Roddenberry a complete history of Earth Prime-Time, particularly of Starfleet and specifically of the starship Enterprise in all its incarnations.

(It may have been accidental if it had been done by the Doctor, who normally believes that History must not be re-written, "not one line!" It's pozz'ble, just pozz'ble, that he lost his 500 year diary while visiting early 1960's Los Angeles and Roddenberry's televersion found it.)

This would go against the established story of how Roddenberry came to create 'Star Trek', as recounted in 'Pioneers of Television', but the episode that focused on science fiction did say that Roddenberry's story could have been just that - a story......

As for the televersion of George R.R. Martin (who so far has portrayed himself in behind-the-scenes footage for 'Game Of Thrones' and seen patronizing a restaurant in the "Fever" episode of 'Beauty And The Beast' - unlike Roddenberry, no other actor has portrayed him), it could be that he somehow stumbled upon the ancient lore of Mondas brought to Toobworld by Eve Norta. But that doesn't really seem likely - such materials must have long since been lost to the erosion of Time, and she must have crash-landed on Toobworld far from where Martin lived.

This scenario would be more likely - surely there must have been pockets of resistance on Mondas against the transformation of the planet's humans into the Cybermen, even to the very end of the planet's existence. One of those last humans, like Eve Norta before them, may have escaped the planet by rocket-ship as it approached the Sol system in the mid-1980's, bringing with him (or her) tales of the realms in Westeros long ago. This time, the Mondasian ship crashed in a location accessible to the televersion of George R.R. Martin, or the Mondasian human may have actively sought out someone of Martin's talent to tell the tale of Mondas, to keep its heritage alive.

This could also have all been done automatically, like the Kataanian beacon seen in the "Inner Light" episode of 'Star Trek: The Next Generation'. In fact, a Mondasian beacon (perhaps based on technology stolen from the Kataanians while Mondas traveled the universe) may have made contact with the minds of several likely candidates, so that many aspects of Mondasian culture could be kept alive; Martin only received the information about the realms of Westeros during the Mondasian Middle Ages.

And that would be why Chuck Bartowski would be able to read a book about Eddard Stark from another planet while Stark's storyline is also playing out in the same TV Universe.

So that's good enough for the book series; but what about any future Zonks that might mention the TV series? (And my prediction is that it will be 'The Big Bang Theory' that does it first.) If it happens, then we let Toobworld follow the real world's lead - that somebody decided the books were good enough to develop a TV series about them. And if any scenes from the actual series are shown on Toobworld TV sets, then we'll just say that the actors hired bore incredible likenesses to the "real" people who lived in Westeros on the planet Mondas a very long time ago.......

SHOWS CITED:
'Game Of Thrones'
'Chuck' - "Chuck vs. The Family Volkoff"
'Wizards And Warriors'
'Legend Of The Seeker'
'Doctor Who' - "The Power Of The Daleks" & "The Tenth Planet"
'The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy'
'Star Trek: The Next Generation' - "Inner Light"
'Pioneers Of Television' - "Science Fiction"
'Star Trek' (the original series)

BCnU!

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