Who wants 'The Apprentice' series 7 reviews?

I skipped reviewing series 6 of The Apprentice last year, so tragically missed writing about the hilarious egomania of Stuart "The Brand" Baggs. What a hamster-faced plonker he was, eh? Naturally that equaled TV nirvana.

This year, I'm still in two-minds about resuming weekly blogs of The Apprentice. It's usually hard to fit them into my schedule -- although theoretically it should be easier than usual this year because it's airing into the summer (when most US shows go on hiatus) rather than the hectic late-winter period.

If I resumed Apprentice blogging, I'll likely change the format so reviews are similar to those written for The Killing -- with sections of bullet-points. It's easier and faster to write in that style -- which could benefit a show like The Apprentice, which always has a lot of information to impart about the composition of teams, the framework of tasks, and the boardroom politics to cover.

But it mostly comes down to you, valued reader. Do you want to read Apprentice blogs every week here? If so, are you likely to comment on them regularly, or just read them? There's ultimately no point doing this if there's no appetite for it.

'The Apprentice' Series 7 launches with two episodes this week (10 & 11 May -- BBC1, 9PM)

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'THE APPRENTICE', series 6

I've been covering The Apprentice for a few years now (including the surprisingly enjoyable Junior Apprentice spin-off earlier this year), but I'm not going to be reviewing series 6 every week -- which starts 6 October. I don't have enough time, so don't want to commit to weekly reviews and feel under pressure to get them written. It's not good for me.

The question is: is there any desire for an "open thread"-type post every week, where you can discuss the show in the form of comments? I could stretch to commenting broadly on the show, just to kick things off, it's just that a full review every Thursday might be the straw that breaks the camel's back for me!

Thoughts?

If this isn't a popular compromise, my Apprentice coverage will be severely reduced until the show (hopefully) returns to its usual spring timeslot. It's just far too hectic in these autumn/winter months leading to Christmas to be tackling a reality show on top of everything else -- sorry!

In the meantime, why not have a look at the new candidates via the BBC's official website.

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The Apprentice: prize change for 2011

Interesting news of a shake-up with The Apprentice's format for 2011, couresy of this BBC press release. Essentially, the winner will no longer become Lord Alan Sugar's literal apprentice in his existing business empire (i.e. tucked away working on a relatively trivial Amstrad product or initiative). Instead, the winner will become Lord Sugar's 50/50 partner in a business venture of their choosing, using £250,000 of initial investment. This change won't effect the sixth series, scheduled for this autumn, but will come into effect for the seventh series. If you want to apply, click here.

What do you make of this news? I think it's a great idea, because the current prize for the winner has always felt quite a letdown, as the job they were given rarely seemed to take advantage of their individual skills. But now the winner will get the chance to build a tailor-made business, with Lord Sugar's support and financial backing. And considering the fact it's £250k of his own money they'll be using, and he gets to keep 50% of any profits, I get the feeling Lord Sugar's going to be more discerning about the winner.

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'JUNIOR APPRENTICE' - Week Six

I don't understand the logic of airing Week Six's episode the day after Week Five's, either. Maybe there's a World Cup football match next Wednesday? But whatever the reason, the Junior Apprentice's finale arrived a week early, with a final task to decide who should win Lord Sugar's £25,000 prize fund: cheeky boffin Arjun, tiny killjoy Kirsty, grinning Tim or the fearsome Zoe?

As it tradition, the fired candidates came back to help (or hinder?) their former-competitors on the final task. Finalists Kirsty and Zoe were paired together, picking Hannah, Hibah and Jordan as teammates, while Tim and Arjun partnered to select Adam, Emma and Rhys. Yes, as is customary, the first person fired was the last chosen, because nobody really knows Jordan six weeks after he was fired. I'm surprised they remembered his name, actually. I was also disappointed that Adam, who left because of sudden illness a few weeks ago, didn't come limping into the room covered in weeping boils, clutching a hot water bottle, and occasionally vomiting into a sick bag held by a nurse.

Lord Sugar explained the final task at a sea life centre full of sharks (which swam away to hide when Zoe arrived), and the location actually made a modicum of sense for once, because the challenge was to create a brand of bottled water, design the packaging, film a TV commercial, then pitch their product to a room full of drinks magnates and business people.

There were some promising ideas and creativity in this task from both teams, although it became very clear who had the upper hand. Kirsty and Zoe's group came up with the perfectly reasonable name "Drip Drop", then opted for a toxic-looking design of oily black lettering on a yellow background. Wasps have that same colour scheme, as a warning to other animals to stay away!

"Drip Drop" was targeted at kids, an untapped market for bottled water, but perhaps with good reason because they prefer fizzy drinks. As usual, Zoe was something of a nightmare to deal with throughout the task, forever calling up her teammate's clique and dispensing unwanted artistic advice. This time about Jackson Pollock. Zoe seems unable to see how awkward she makes everyone feel, can't empower her team, and won't trust others to do work she thinks she'd be better at.

Tim and Arjun's team went down an interesting, minimalist avenue with their brand. They chose to label their bottle of water "A Bottle Of Water", embracing the vaguely pretentious idea that people are after "does what it says on the tin"-style products. They wisely targeted 25-35 office workers, who are assumedly too busy to read labels with confusingly imaginative product names like Evian and Volvic. No, what today's executives want on a lunch break is "A Bottle Of Water". Simple! Then maybe they can grab "A Sandwich" and "A Packet Of Crisps" if the brand ever expanded.

Filming the TV commercials didn't throw up as many howlers as the adult series tends to, funnily enough. Kirsty's ad was the weakest, with two thirsty boys having their Drip Drop stolen by a cheeky young girl. Poorly acted and edited, the message seemed to be that a thief's favourite brand of water is Drip Drop. So only buy their water if you want to be a victim of crime?

Arjun's advert was more creative, with a handsome businessman running through a park, stripping off his clothes and eventually ending up in underwear to grab A Bottle Of Water and quench his thirst. I can see the thinking here with the "stripping things down to their basics" message, and the idea felt like something that might get brainstormed in a real ad agency, but I'm not sure the ad really clicked. Still, Arjun's directing was solid for a rushed effort, and he coped well with the fact Tim had booked one too many actors.

There were some dodgy moments for team "Zirsty" (hey, that could have been a brand name! "If you're thirsty, drink some Zirsty?"), particularly when Zoe arrived to get their pitching venue decorated and didn't have any designs for the artists to work from. But they mysterious managed to get the job done while she was away. Did someone from the production team hotfoot it across London to get Drip Drop's artwork to them? The thing with The Apprentice, particularly this Junior edition, is you're never sure what happens when the cameras are off. I still find it hard to believe a gang of 16/17-year-olds could cope with any of this without gentle steering and help from behind-the-scenes. Or maybe teenagers have become a lot more capable in the 15 years since I was one myself?

The day of the presentations arrived, with plenty of suits filling each team's floor-space, including a characteristically grump-looking Lord Sugar. A usual, my stomach started to develop a knot over the potential for embarrassing failure -- somehow even more excruciating with kids involved. Zoe was lost in her own world of notes pre-show, unwilling to lend much support or encouragement to Kirsty. On the flipside, Arjun and Tim really felt like partners in this together, aiming to win.

Fortunately, if only for my nerves as a viewer, both pitches seemed to go very well, particularly Tim and Arjun's Q&A session at the end.

In the boardroom, Lord Sugar's feedback on both team's presentations was a lot harsher than the filmed evidence seemed to suggest, but the obvious problems were there for all to see. Zoe/Kirsty targeted a non-lucrative teenage market, their ad had a strange message, and their design was a bit garish. Tim/Arjun made a few errors with their business research during the Q&A, but otherwise it was difficult to fault their witty idea and the demographic they went after. So, Tim/Arjun were deemed the winners, meaning Zoe and Kirsty were sent packing at the last hurdle. I had to laugh when Zoe's attempt at a pleasant farewell ("well done boys, you really deserved it") was delivered with zero sincerity and eye contact as she floated out the boardroom like a peeved string puppet.

After six weeks (well, five weeks and six tasks) Lord Sugar finally had a simple decision to make. Arjun with his strong education, maths skills, determination, creativity, and lack of boardroom call-ins... or likeable Tim, who improved from an initially lazy type of character, finding his stride in the past three tasks. Oh, it was always going to be Arjun, wasn't it? And so it came to pass. I think Tim's speech about his background being the hard labour of a farmer, helping birth lambs, but still being driven by money, didn't fit with Lord Sugar. It seemed to confirm that Tim's a decent bloke with natural charisma that saw him through some tasks, but Arjun's more likely to have real business success.

Did anyone else think the series ended on a rushed, abrupt note? Arjun was told he'd won, got in that taxi, then the credits rolled. No farewell speech from Tim? No wrap-up from Lord Sugar? It wasn't even clear what Arjun had won, exactly. I know he gets £25,000 (a low sum considering what Lord Sugar's BBC fee must be), but will he be given a proper job opportunity with Amstrad when he turns 18? Oh well. At least I get the impression Arjun won't fritter away his winnings. Zoe would have bought herself a new wardrobe (or topped up next year's lipstick budget), and Emma would have gone crazy buying eggs and sweets to sell on.

Overall, this was great end to what's been a surprisingly excellent series. It never felt like a cheap version of the adult series, the tasks weren't patronizingly easier, and while Lord Sugar perhaps didn't rant at the candidate's big mistakes... he wasn't a total pussycat. The tone struck a fine balance and at times Junior Apprentice exceeded its progenitor. There was certainly less of the monotonous infighting, and let's not forget Tim/Kirsty making a phenomenal £39,000 in profit and setting an Apprentice record. That really was amazing. They should get commission if that deal's for real, surely.

10 JUNE 2010: BBC1/HD, 9PM

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'JUNIOR APPRENTICE' - Week Five

The idea of sending five teenagers to Amsterdam could have played out very differently on any other reality TV show, but not in Lord Sugar's grandfatherly hands. Instead, the adolescent apprentice-wannabes were in the Netherlands to hear pitches for products by six top-notch designers, before selecting two each to sell to retailers back home.

Arjun had the unenviable task of managing moody Zoe and Emma for Revolution, leaving Kirsty in charge of Tim for Instinct. Three against one, is that really fair? Oh well, I got the impression Kirsty was just glad to have Tim all to herself. The production team even put them on a romantic trip down the city's canal, whereby Tim unleashed his appalling Dutch accent; possibly a defensive move to repel amorous, tiny Scottish girls.

The pitches both team endured were characteristically bizarre, silly, ridiculously niche, or all three: baseball caps made of human hair, a dog bed on legs, a dog transporter, a bicycle/exercise machine hybrid, a build-your-own bicycle, an individual box-set of cutler for the solo diner, and baby comforters you can tie into a variety of animals shapes (er, an elephant and a rabbit.. then maybe a hare and a mammoth?)

Predictably, both teams wanted the Bratavas Batavus-brand bicycles. Kids love bikes, right? After some stonewalling by Arjun in discussions to reach an amicable solution, Tim and Kirsty end up getting the bicycles in exchange for their cutlery. Thus, they wound up with the two bikes and the dog walker/bed combo. Arjun, Zoe and Emma got the cutlery, the comforters, and some coloured lamps. The thinking here is that Arjun thinks it'll be easier to sell low-cost items in bulk, whereas Kirsty thinks just shifting a few bikes will win them the task. The classic Apprentice gamble.

Lord Sugar's already lined up some potential buyers from the House Of Frasier and Liberty & Co, but the teams also have to phone around for other retailers to sell their products to. Tim proved himself very personable, cogent and likeable in the pitches, despite a toe-curling moment with House Of Frasier where he tried to sell them the bicycle-based dog transporter, only to discover they don't have a bicycle or pet section, then followed it up with trying to sell two more bicycles. That didn't go down well. But at least Tim (who revealed his business skills are honed playing Monopoly) actually did something, because Kirsty just stood in the background like a statue. She didn't even help him struggle through doors pushing two bicycles.

Arjun's team didn't fare as well. Zoe went first with the pitching, which she's ordinarily very good at, but the buyers started asking "difficult" questions of her. The kind of questions the team should have asked the designers back in Amsterdam when they had the chance, rather than snap and bitch at their creativity. They didn't even have any agreed wriggle-room on prices. Arjun took over for the second pitch, but found it hard to justify the appeal of cutlery-for-one However, Arjun did offload 60 of those awful comforters, inspiring an Artful Dodger-style heel-click celebration in the street. It's a shame that didn't develop into a full-on Oliver!-esque production number, with Lord Sugar as Fagin, Karren as Nancy, and Nick as Bill Sykes.

Kirsty and Tim travelled around London trying to interest retailers they've agreed meetings with themselves, but with two expensive products it was difficult at times. Back street pet shops aren't really going to stock £100 dog beds, are they.

In the boardroom, the results were announced: Arjun's team made £10,171.45, but Kirsty's team somehow pulled in a miraculous £39,785.09 -- which was genuinely astonishing and an Apprentice record. You can't really dismiss that, unless you wanted to be cynical and say some of the buyers were sympathetic to "kids". And I'm none the wiser about these purchases being genuine, or hypothetical -- which DOES alter things. But hey, give Tim and Kirsty some credit, that was a phenomenal profit. And poor old Arjun; he even laughed at Lord Sugar's "clever clogs" gags, but it wasn't enough.

Kirsty and Tim headed off for their reward of... uh, table football back at the house, because I think Lord Sugar's coffers have run dry.

Arjun, Zoe and Emma got down to the business of blaming other people for the task's failure. Arjun found himself in the firing line for not asking their opinion when he let Tim and Kirsty take the lucrative bikes, but in all fairness they could have interjected at the time but chose not to. It was amusing to see Emma suddenly get the feeling she was going to be fired, prompting her to set Plan B into motion: develop a flurry of quivering emotion that made her words catch in her throat and her mouth make funny coat-hanger shapes.

Equally amusing was how Lord Sugar finally cracked and started rattling off reasons Zoe's a risk: she's domineering, selfish and rubs people up the wrong way. So, naturally, she survived. I guess she has the elusive "spirit" Lord Sugar's obsessed with, or he knows she makes good TV. Arjun was never in any danger, considering the fact his track-record of boardroom visits was very low, so it was "with a heavy heart and much regret" that Emma was fired. Sent home in the taxi cab to continue selling her eggs and sweets behind the school bike sheds, or however she does it.

So, we have our finalists: Arjun, Tim, Kirsty and the ever deluded Zoe, who returned to the house and only seemed to remember the "positive things" Lord Sugar had said to her. So it was Arjun's time to roll his eyes at his competitor's self-delusion.

A quick reminder: Junior Apprentice's finale is actually on tonight at 9pm (10 June) not next week.

9 JUNE 2010: BBC1/HD, 9PM

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'JUNIOR APPRENTICE' - Week Four

This week Lord Sugar had the candidates meet him at David Beckham's Academy, raising hopes for a meeting with "Golden Balls" himself, or perhap a task involving football. But no, this week's task was all about spotting talent in the art industry -- just as Becks supposedly spots talent in the sporting industry? Right? Get it? Oh, who knows how Lord Sugar's tenuous mind works...

The teens were split into two teams: Tim (who put himself forward as Project Manager in the boardroom last week to save himself) led tiny Kirstie and spaced-out Hannah, while Emma (she "sells eggs and sweets") is put in charge of brainbox Arjun and the infinitely-perplexing Zoe, who has the gait of a shepherd's crook someone's hung a blonde wig and haute couture on.

It's a familiar task: each team had to schmooze various artists in their studios, assess the prices of their work, negotiate discounts, then hopefully sell the work of whomever was willing to partner them for a one-night-only exhibition.

Zoe had the upperhand because her parents are both professional artists and she's been visiting galleries since she was five. She also paints her lips with a can of crimson gloss every morning. Despite her eccentric demeanour, Zoe's bohemnian background was enough to entice the artists her way, while brassy Kirsty had the exact opposite effect on potential customers. She instead breezed in clutching a clipboard, barely looked at the artwork, rattled off some dull financial questions, mumbled a bit, then left. To be fair, she was doing everything solo because, annoyingly, each team only has three members now -- so how can Nick and Karren possibly be the "eyes and ears" for their respective teams? Imagine being 16-years-old and being driven around London to meet arty-farty strangers with a camera crew scrutinizing your every move and utterance. I have sympathy, actually.

By far the biggest fruitloop was an artist who goes round people's homes to look aftter their cats, and has photos of herself taken wearing their clothes. It's okay, I think she's strapped to a bed in Broadmoor now. Predictably, neither team wanted to do business with her.

Eventually, Tim's team got their hands on some affordable photographic landscapes and extravagant abstracts that cost around £4,000 each. Yes, they'd fallen prey to the risky "if we sell just one, we'll win the task" strategy. Emma's team managed to get the reasonably-priced urban prints that Tim's team coveted (as Zoe's hippy brown-nosing impressed the artist more than Kirsty's abrupt disinterest), and a few contemporary sculptures that included fragments of a broken mirror glued onto black backgrounds.

Tim's team arrived at Brick Lane, which is apparently a hotbed of artistic types, but resembled a street-wide bring-and-buy sale for vagabonds. They fell behind getting their shop ready for the opening, meaning the event began when they were still sticking up prices and preparing the drinks. The actual sale didn't go that well, although the photographic prints sold okay eventually, but clearly nobody wanted to spend £4k on art that looks like a toddler spilled some paint onto a canvas and smeared it around willy-nilly. Tim showed his ignorance for art by mishearing David Hockney as Anthony Hopkins, while some woman (most likely a fantasist) demanded a 30% discount because she owns a gallery. In her loft, I suspect.

Emma's team did a lot better, but ran into difficulties because Zoe's arrogance kept making her interrupt Emma and Arjun's conversations with prospective buyers, mistakenly believing that they were struggling and she's the only one capable of communicating with these arty types. Despite Zoe's unwanted, exaspering interjections, it was obvious that Arjun and Emma both had enough natural charm to sell just fine. More importantly, their pieces were commercial and affordable.

In the boardroom, it's wasn't much of a surprise to learn that Emma/Arjun/Zoe made £6,000 profit to Tim/Hannah/Kirsty's £2,000. The winner disappeared to get some bespoke suits made, while country boy Tim again argued that art wasn't really his "thing" (oh, for a sheep-shearing task!), and naturally he sided with "secretary" Hannah in berating the fact Kirsty's temperament lost them the urban prints that would have been perfect for their Brick Lane location. A valid point. Hannah also came in for criticism because she'd spent half her time taking notes.

Lord Sugar made a decision based on the past four weeks, that Hannah's academic qualities haven't translated into tangible evidence of any "spark" he's after. He's always after that elusive spark. What he means is that he prefers people who can talk bollocks and fight their corner, rather than quieter types who would probably make better apprentice-material. So, Tim and Kirsty somehow survived for another week, while Hannah was fired. But she did get a business card from "Lord Sugar Of Clapton", which must have given her a giggle.

There are only two episodes left, so who should win? Zoe will definitely be in the final, because she's assertive and enough of a "character". Emma seems efficient enough, but needs a task to totally ace to justify her progress at this stage. Kirsty will be the next one fired, I'm predicting, despite her resolve. Tim is lucky to have lasted this long, wnd the most "normal" of the remainder. Arjun is actually the dark horse of the series who could sneak to victory (good with figures, a decent salesman, improved quickly at pitching.) Arjun to win?

2 JUNE 2010: BBC1/HD, 9PM

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JUNIOR APPRENTICE - Week Three

There was definitely more of a kid-gloves feel to Week Three, with a cake-selling task that was very similar to Week One's cheese-selling, a gentler performance from Lord Sugar in the boardroom (cracking gags, smiling, trying to reassure the candidates), and the fact Adam was allowed to go home because of a few day's sickness. It was still good fun, though, mainly because of the sweetly clueless Rhys...

Rhys, the shortest and most child-like of the candidates, became project leader of Instinct, which included assertive Kirsty, academic Hannah and whiskered Tim. Zoe (whose red lipstick is probably a byproduct of people she's slain) was chosen to lead Revolution, working alongside sickly Adam, egghead Arjun and sensible Emma.

Instinct decided to theme their cupcakes on "fashion"; while Resolution chose a more imaginative "I Love..." theme, where customers could complete the sentiment with personalized icing messages. Both teams were given prime spots as plush department store Selfridges in the heart of London's shopping district, each splitting themselves into two groups (sellers and manufacturers) and trying to offload as many cakes as they could to passing shoppers.

Problems ensued, naturally.

Zoe's team were undoubtedly better; their themed cakes were more imaginative, Zoe herself proved game by dressing up as a giant cupcake to attract customers, and in general Revolution didn't face many problems throughout the day. Despite the fact Adam's icing skills were nonexistent, and you could tell he just wanted to crawl into bed and die.

Rhys' team had a real nightmare; nobody gave Rhys much support, which knocked his already low confidence, and there were definite signs that everyone was taking a backseat and were planning to blame a loss on their leader. Tim was particularly irritating, in that he shirked becoming the leader again (citing a lack of culinary know-how), but was happy to lead the one aspect of the project that involved food. Kirsty's grumbling became a bore, but she was great at the market research and you could tell she's one of the more mature candidates who stands a chance of winning.

In the boardroom, it was all academic really. Rhys' team failed dismally (only selling nine cupcakes in the first few hours, failing to price their customized cupcakes higher), and ultimately lost £120. Zoe's group squeaked through with a profit of £15.15.

Rhys brought Tim and Hannah back into the boardroom with him to explain their loss, and actually did a very persuasive job of convincing Lord Sugar that a lot of the problem was a lack of support. But it was also clear that Rhys lacked some maturity, definitely didn't come up with a sales strategy for the day, and failed to get his team behind him. So, despite his Lordship's assurance that there was a "special something" to him, Rhys was fired.

But there was some welcome criticism of Tim, who appears to have sneaked his way to Week Three by talking a good game but failing to perform equally as well. He'll now be the project leader for whatever the next task is, having played the "let me prove to you what I can do next time" card. Hannah was also given some food for thought, considering she's the most academically gifted candidate but didn't steer the project to success when it became clear business was bad.

Owing to Adam being sent home to convalesce from the 'flu (or whatever ailment he came down with), there are now just six candidates left. Who looks like the winner at this halfway stage? It surely has to be Zoe. She's not particularly likeable, but she has a can-do attitude and is the only person you could imagine being on the adult Apprentice. Arjun possibly stands a chance if he proves himself good at leading a team, and I think Kirsty's now a strong and assertive possible winner. Tim, Emma and Hannah all fall into the "must do better" category right now.

26 MAY 2010: BBC1/HD, 9PM

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JUNIOR APPRENTICE - Week Two

I'm impressed. Lord Sugar's office rang a house full of teenagers at 7am and they all rolled out of bed before noon. These aren't normal teenagers. Well, actually, this task proved they are. After Week One's decent start (give or take a few slips), Week Two saw both teams struggling in a manner you expect kids with no life experience.

The teams were ordered into Wellington boots and whisked to a "city farm" called, unflatteringly, Mudchute. I had no idea something like that existed in London, did you? Once there, Lord Sugar revealed the day's task: to build a prototype piece of camping equipment and pitch it to three retailers. The boys and girls chose their project leaders, who were then switched to the opposing team by Lord Sugar.

Cockney rogue Adam found himself in charge of the girls, and reality TV convention singled him out for probable dismissal when he exclaimed that "men are better at business because of their physical capabilities." Too often on The Apprentice, the first person to make a howler is the one who will be taking a taxi cab home. Hannah, an inventor who can't mention her inventions (it's a water-powered car and she fears being assassinated by an oil company?), led the boys.

Adam's leadership style (or response to being handed a business harem of young girls) was over-enthusiasm and incomprehensible rambling, essentially making no assertive decisions but trying to support every idea thrown up during a brainstorm. Hibah struck upon the notion of a "games table" for families to pass the time on while camping, and it appeared to stick in everyone's mind because there were no better alternatives. At the ensuing "focus group", Hibah and Zoe (who dresses in "business sailorwoman" chic, with lipstick redder than the Devil's arse), pushed the games table idea on a family of campers who looked keen to agree it was a great idea so they'd just leave them in peace.

Hannah's team fared better, with Tim proving himself particularly good at focusing the brainstorming session with his mad whiteboard skillz, and they soon settled on the idea of a "sledge" for festival-goers to drag their belongings around on. It was another poor idea, but you could at least see a modicum of thought had gone into it. It was just a shame none of them had attended any actual music festivals, so their idea didn't come from any personal insight. Their focus group of thirtysomethings told Arjun and Rhys that the "sledge" idea was sound, for some indiscernible reason. Probably intentional sabotage to provide added entertainment when they watched this back on TV.

At the prototype phase, Adam's team had decided to combine every idea they'd had in the morning, thus creating a games table/storage area/shoe rack... made out of cardboard. The look on everyone's face when the flimsy, cheap-looking eyesore arrived the next morning was a particular highlight, quickly topped when Adam's insincere enthusiasm returned and he eagerly placed his own shoe into the prototype's lower shelf to marvel at its genius. Behold, the "Flex N' Store"!

Hannah's sledge was similarly disappointing, but it at least looked like a genuine robust product and not something knocked up by Blue Peter from cereal packets. The main problem with the "Slide-Stuff" (beyond, y'know, the very idea of it), was its childish design and small size. So just the concept and appearance was a problem.

Next, it was time to create some enticing images of both products to use during their pitch sessions. Adam and Hibah went to a field to erect a tent (with unproductive results), meaning they were later forced to have a group of paid actors pose with their "Flex N' Store" while sitting on a flattened flysheet in deckchairs.

On the other team, maths whizz Arjun had all three pitches dropped into his lap with no preparation time. Thus, Arjun didn't fare very well and often stuttered or dried up under the slightest scrutiny (or eye-contact), but he somehow managed to find his feet for the third pitch and put in a relatively impressive performance

Vociferous Zoe was, of course, the natural choice to pitch the team's Flex N' Store, but while her pitches to the retailers went smoother than Arjun's it was obvious she was flogging a dead horse. I think their fate was sealed when Adam admitted you'd perhaps only get four uses out of the Flex N' Store before it would collapse. And I think he was being optimistic, considering prayers were keeping their prototype upright after one day.

In the boardroom, Lord Sugar revealed the results. Hannah's team and their Slide-Stuff somehow managed 3,100 sales and were declared the conclusive winners. Adam's team and their Flex N' Store were the inevitable losers with no sales whatsoever. None. As leader, Adam called Zoe and Hibah back into the boardroom with him, for weak reasons, although it was true that they'd both pushed the games table idea far too much. Zoe may not have contributed any ideas to the brainstorming, but having handled the pitches she was never in any real danger. Hibah was on shakier ground, but Adam had clearly lost control of the task and accepted some monumentally poor ideas.

As usual for The Apprentice, Lord Sugar tends to take pity on young people from working class backgrounds who speak with passion, so once Adam started babbling about his potential and (very amusingly) the "life savings" he'd used to build his own business after leaving school with bad exam results, it was clear he'd done enough to appeal to Lord Sugar's nature. Not entirely unexpectedly, Hibah was fired for shirking responsibilities.

Overall, a very entertaining episode. It was more obvious that Lord Sugar's being careful not to be too overbearing in the boardroom, but that's certainly not having a detrimental effect on the show. I'd be complaining if he was reducing teenagers to tears, so I think the balance is being handled well. Like last week, the task was exactly what you'd expect of the adult series, which has really helped this series. I'm sure people are being a touch softer on the kids (that Flex N' Store would have been torn to shreds if adults were pitching it), but I still feel that Junior Apprentice has enough of the grownup show's DNA to overcome its occasional softness.

19 MAY 2010: BBC1/HD, 9PM

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JUNIOR APPRENTICE - Week One

Over at Obsessed With Film, I review the opening episode of BBC1's JUNIOR APPRENTICE, where Lord Alan Sugar hopes to find a new protégé from 10 teenage hopefuls:

"The regular series has been delayed because of the BBC's fears about impartiality during a General Election, given the fact Lord Alan Sugar had an advisory role with the (now defunct) Labour government. In its place, post-election, we have pint-sized version Junior Apprentice, where 10 teenagers are taken from the classroom and find themselves in Lord Sugar's infamous boardroom..." Continue reading...

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The Apprentice pushed back to summer

The sixth series of BBC1's The Apprentice has been pushed back to summer 2010, from its traditional spring start. The reason for the scheduling change is that its normal slot would likely coincide with a General Election if one is called next year, and the BBC cannot be perceived as endorsing any particular party through Lord Alan Sugar's association with the government as enterprise tsar.

Interestingly, this means The Apprentice will now compete against Channel 4's last series of Big Brother.

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The Apprentice: Karren Brady, you're hired!

Following the departure of Margaret Mountford as one of Sir Lord Alan Sugar's "eyes and ears" in The Apprentice, it's just been announced that Karren Brady will be her replacement. Brady is already familiar to Apprentice fans as one of the business people who grill candidates during the infamous interviews task. 40-year-old Brady, the chief executive of Birmingham City Football Club, also captained the women during the 2006 Comic Relief celebrity special. She's set to make her debut, alongside her returning male counterpart Nick Hewer, in next year's sixth series.

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