THE HAT SQUAD: DON DIAMOND

Chief Wild Eagle & Crazy Cat
'F Troop'

Crazy Cat: Friends, Hekawis, countrymen, we are gathered here today to say good-bye to Chief Wild Eagle who has gone to last big pow wow in sky. He was good chief, wise chief, with heart as big as his mouth.

Wild Eagle: Again you try to bury me?

Crazy Cat: Chief Wild Eagle. Just practicing speech I wrote for when we wrap your skin in buffalo hide, put it on your favorite pony, and send him to...

Wild Eagle: Never mind the funeral arrangements.

Crazy Cat: Must be prepared chief. You could go any minute.

Wild Eagle: That's why you practice funeral speech?

Crazy Cat: Have to practice. Would you want me to say burial speech for great chief off top of head?

Wild Eagle: You keep practicing speech and you get tomahawk off top of head.

('F Troop')

Don Diamond, who played Crazy Cat on the anachronistic Western sitcom 'F Troop', passed away on June 19th at the age of 90.

What I always liked about his character was his line delivery, the off-beat inflection in the way he spoke. There was something to suggest he may have been a precursor to the hippies, that he might have been strung out on Kickapoo Joy Juice (mixing references). And then again, it was the kind of voice that suggested he really was crazy. His interest in the possible demise of Wild Eagle certainly was an indication that he might hasten that eventuality.

I have to admit that he did fall into that category of "I thought he was already dead", I'm afraid. But I'm glad to see that I was wrong for as long as I was.

Good night and may God bless.

BCnU.......

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SUPER-SIX LIST: SILENCE WILL FALL - IN OTHER TV SHOWS

With so many of the Silence inhabiting the Earth (at least until July of 1969), then they must be present in every single TV show that ever was, including the foreign-made series.

Here's a Super Six List of some of the more O'Bvious (to me) choices.....

1] 'Fringe'
Check out the post about the Silence and the Observers.

2] 'The X-Files'
I'll bet there was a Silent monitoring Mulder and Scully, as well as Deep Throat and others, for a long time.....

3] 'The Invaders'
We could use the Silence as the splainin as to why the Invaders are no longer a threat among us.

4] 'The Adventures Of Superman'
I don't think even the Last Son of Krypton would be immune to their power. And they'd want to keep an eye on him until he died back in the early 60's.....

5] 'The Wild, Wild West'
They've been around since the dawn of Man, so out of all the TV Westerns, this would be the most logical place to find them.

6] 'The Governor And J.J.'
No, really! There had to be at least one Silent monitoring every important political figure in the world, so there must have been one stationed in the governor's mansion even in this sitcom. In 'Benson' as well, most likely. (But not in 'The West Wing' - that's a different TV dimension and may or may not have an infestation of the Silence....)

BCnU!

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AS SEEN ON TV: ELIZABETH BACON CUSTER

ELIZABETH BACON CUSTER

AS SEEN IN:
'Son Of The Morning Star'

AS PLAYED BY:
ROSEANNA ARQUETTE

From Wikipedia:
Elizabeth Bacon Custer (April 8, 1842 - April 4, 1933) was the wife of General George Armstrong Custer. After his death, she became an outspoken advocate for her husband's legacy through her popular books and lectures. Largely as a result of her endless campaigning on his behalf, Custer's iconic portrayal as the gallant fallen hero amid the glory of 'Custer’s Last Stand' was a canon of American history for almost a century after his death.

Mrs. Custer was born on this date 169 years ago.  She was also played on TV by Blythe Danner in "The Court-Martial Of George Armstrong Custer", but that would be set in an alternate TV dimension because of the titular event depicted....

BCnU!

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THE SUPER SIX LIST: NEVER-WAS TV

I was reading about how the never-finished 'Doctor Who' story "Shada" by the late Douglas Adams is being re-worked to be a novel, with the blessings of the Adams estate. And it got me thinking about some other TV show episodes that, for one reason or another, never were completed......

So I've put together a Super Six List of the more interesting examples, starting with the oldest one I could find:

1] 'BONANZA' In "The Ponderosa Birdman", Buster Keaton was scheduled to portray crackpot inventor Phineas T. Klump back in 1965. That was the one where Hoss Cartwright was supposed to be the guinea pig for an experimental flying device.

But Keaton raised too many objections about the script. He felt that his character should be the one to test the device out; that he could come up with some funny routines based on his old silent movie material. But as the producers pointed out, they needed the participation of one of the Cartwrights, or it wouldn't be a 'Bonanza' episode.

So then Keaton suggested that Little Joe would be the more logical since Michael Landon was smaller and lighter. Keaton tried to put a polite spin to it by saying that Dan Blocker was not "aerodynamically sound".

Again, the producers stepped in saying that the image of Hoss with wings would be funnier, but Keaton insisted that the basis of humor needed believability, and that a fat man with wings was not funny, just stupid. It was all the stage-hands could do to keep Dan Blocker from tackling Buster Keaton.

Ultimately, Keaton was paid off and let go. The producers brought in Ed Wynn to play Klump. (Coincidentally, Wynn had visited the set just a few days earlier to see his old friend.) Keaton never held a grudge about it and went off to make a few "Beach Blanket" movies instead.

2] 'COLUMBO'

While in England during the summer of 1972 to film establishing location shots for "Dagger Of The Mind" later that year, Peter Falk was introduced to Sir Laurence Olivier. Sir Larry let the star of 'Columbo' know that he would be delighted to get the opportunity to play a murderer on the American detective series. Eager to land the "Master Thespian" for a guest spot, the script for "Greenhouse Jungle" was hastily written with Olivier in mind to play Jarvis Goodland. Unfortunately, a computer glitch caused problems for Olivier in securing a work visa in time for the shooting schedule. Since Falk had worked with Ray Milland previously in the episode "Death Lends A Hand", he was brought in to play the role instead. It was a rush job, evident in Milland's performance, and was put on the schedule ahead of "Dagger Of The Mind".Sadly, the opportunity for Peter Falk to work with Laurence Olivier on 'Columbo' never presented itself again.

3] 'SOAP'

Halfway through the first season of 'Soap', producer Susan Harris made inquiries to Jackie Gleason's people to see if he would be open to the idea of playing a character on the soap opera spoof. It would have been nothing elaborate - she knew Gleason's reputation for wanting it all done in one take - and would have just been a recurring role leading up to the season finale cliff-hanger. Ms. Harris had it in mind for "The Great One" to play Judge Petrillo, who would preside over the murder trial for Jessica Tate. But Gleason was only interested in doing a cameo, as his own character of Reggie Van Gleason, and he wanted Witt/Thomas/Harris to bring the production down to Miami.

Susan Harris realized it would have been more trouble than it was worth, so the offer was withdrawn. Eventually Charles Lane was hired to play the role of Judge Petrillo.

(Rumor has it that Gleason was hoping to revive interest in Reggie Van Gleason for his own show. He thought the time was right, since there was so much fascination with the rich in the prime-time soaps, to use Reggie {his own personal favorite character} to mock the genre.)

4] 'SABRINA THE TEEN-AGE WITCH'

Salem Saberhagen was a sorcerer who was serving a term of punishment by being transformed into a black cat. For the most part, his time on 'Sabrina The Teen-age Witch' was spent tossing off one-liners from the sidelines.

Voiced by Nick Bakay, Salem was supposed to get his own spin-off series. But the pilot didn't test well with the research audiences. Remembering the ratings debacle of the pilot for 'Toonces, The Cat Who Could Drive A Car', the network didn't want to risk burning off the pilot by airing it and thus harming the character's potential on the parent series.

Instead, they killed the project and quietly re-edited certain scenes back into the 'Sabrina' series as a cost-cutting measure.

 

5] 'LEVERAGE'

During the first season of the con man series on TNT, a very special script was written for a very special guest - Patrick McGoohan. "The Six Days Of Christmas Job" was about a shopping mall Santa Claus who was targeted for murder and who may have been a spy but who retired from the business long ago.
  

The script was full of references to McGoohan's career - the action took place at the Village Mall, where the Santa had been hired by the firm's "Number Two"; the activity area for children had a giant inflatable white ball; and McGoohan's character's name was supposedly "Drake Rafferty". There would have been a variation on his famous "I am not a number; I'm a free man!" speech, and even the title of the episode carried a reference to his character from 'The Prisoner'.

(By the end, it would still remain a possibility that McGoohan was appearing as Number Six. But as was the case in never identifying Number Six as John Drake of 'Danger Man'/'Secret Agent', it was deliberately left vague to avoid paying a license fee.) Unfortunately, McGoohan was only around long enough to be fitted for a costume and pose for a few publicity photos before he took ill. He died in January of 2009. The producers later took that script and reworked it for a 2010 episode, "The Ho Ho Ho Job".

6] 'SUPERNATURAL'

Earlier this year, an over-zealous writer and associate producer for the CW series 'Supernatural' had an idea for an episode that continued the meta humor standard set by earlier episodes "Changing Channels" and "The French Mistake". This time, he was hoping to develop a script in which the Winchester boys were given advice by a witch as they tried to save her grand-daughter and stop a hostile take-over of the Witches' Council.

And it wouldn't have been just any witch, but the most famous witch in all of TV Land. Samantha Stephens!

Astute readers of this blog will know that Elizabeth Montgomery, the actress who played Sam on 'Bewitched', passed away nearly sixteen years ago. Not that this writer saw that as a deterrent - apparently he previously worked on the 1990's HBO comedy series 'Dream On' which used clips from old Universal TV shows.  He was planning to use selected scenes from 'Bewitched' which would contain appropriate dialogue from the character of Samantha Stephens for "conversations" with Sam and Dean. (A recurring joke would have been for both Samantha and Sam to reply "Yes?" whenever Dean said "Sam".)

It appears he certainly did his home-work.  The plan was to utilize a plot point from the sitcom - that when a witch was close to death or losing her powers, she had to transform herself into something that would continue to be useful. Witches of 'Bewitched' had been transformed into objects before - chairs, bedpans.... (I once suggested that the house of Bartlett Finchley in 'The Twilight Zone' episode "A Thing About Machines" was full of objects that were actually transformed witches.)

The premise was established in a 'Bewitched' episode, "The Corn Is As High As A Guernsey's Eye", where Aunt Clara's powers were waning and she felt the time was right to follow the mandate to transform. (Samantha thought she then turned herself into a cow.)

In the proposed script outline for 'Supernatural', Samantha Stephens had become too ill for even Dr. Bombay to cure. And so at some point after the series ended, she tearfully said good-bye to her family and then used her powers to transform herself into something useful.

A television's remote control.

Sam and Dean Winchester confer with Samantha Stephens on their TV

And it was a universal remote, able to work on any TV. That way, she could "stay on the move" and be seen on any TV set, and the producer could also use black and white footage from the early years on a black and white TV.
 
See, Samantha was smart - she saw this as a way to remain in contact with her family there in Westport, Connecticut. But somehow the remote control was stolen and Sam Winchester eventually came into its possession. And with Samantha's help, as she popped up on whatever video monitor was nearby, Sam and Dean would be able to put down a plot against the Witches' Council and rescue Samantha's grand-daughter. (The character's name was Lizbeth as a tip of the hat to Elizabeth Montgomery. But apparently it was Elspeth in an early draft.)

The twist to the episode was that it turned out Lizbeth was the mastermind behind the plot against the Witches' Council. In order to protect her from a more serious fate, Samantha and Tabitha had no choice but to punish her with transformation - into a framed photograph of herself. (My source tells me that in the script, Tabitha explained that they didn't make the same choice as Samantha did because Lizbeth was being punished - and that meant no TV privileges. Also, Dean mutters as they leave that it was creepy the way her eyes followed him across the room.)

My source for this information also said that the original script called for her to be transformed into a bowling ball so that she could still be part of the family routine of bowling night. [Tabitha married a mortal - like mother, like daughter.] But then the writer realized Dad would be sticking his finger in the holes. It was bad enough that Sam Winchester was always fingering Samantha's buttons on the remote.....

The writer was so confident that the script would work that he contacted Sony Pictures on his own for permission to use the clips. He even put together a demo film of Sam and Dean "talking" with Samantha, using the two lighting stand-ins for Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles as substitutes to play the Winchesters in the scene. He also hired the actress he had in mind for playing Lizbeth. (I recognized her from the very grainy bootleg I saw - it's either Keri Lynn Pratt or Kirsten Prout. I'm always getting those two confused.)

But he didn't run the idea by the executive producers of 'Supernatural' first. So they were blind-sided when Robert Foxworth and Elizabeth Montgomery's family approached show creator Eric Kripke personally to lodge a complaint against the idea.

I'd tell you the name of this writer, but he was fired over the incident and I don't want to embarrass him even further. Besides, I'm sure you can look through the credits of the series on IMDb and see which writer/producer is no longer attached to the show.

The funny thing was, Sony Pictures was keen on the idea. (They also okayed the appearance of Bernard Fox as Dr. Bombay on 'Passions' during the 35th anniversary of 'Bewitched'.) And it looks like Fox and Erin Murphy (as Tabitha) would have been available to make cameos as their characters. But the protests by Ms. Montgomery's loved ones would have been publicity they just didn't need.  
So those are my choices for the top six TV show episodes that never saw the light of the broadcasting day.....

BCnU!

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"THE MENTALIST" - TAKING NOTES

I watched tonight's (3/31/11) episode of 'The Mentalist', "The Red Mile" and had a few Toobworldly thoughts.....

1] The murder victim, Timothy Hartley, could have been a cousin to Dr. Bob Hartley from 'The Bob Newhart Show'. He couldn't have been a brother as Bob only had a sister, Ellen. And Tim couldn't be a nephew as he was too old to have been born after we met Ellen on the sitcom. Besides, I doubt she would have had a child out of wedlock; I'd like to think she eventually married Howard Borden.

2] The Cook Family made its fortunes in sugar beets, via the grandfather. I'm going to say it was the maternal grandfather's business and that he was descended from Hans "Potato" Brumbaugh, who established his agricultural empire in 'Centennial', Colorado. The reason why the Cooks attribute only so far back as to the grandfather is because he began his branch of the family business near Auburn, California.

3] One of the mortuaries investigated by CBI Agents Rigsby and Van Pelt was Pine Valley Mortuary. It'll be my contention that it was part of a nation-wide chain with the original mortuary to be found in Pine Valley, Pennsylvania, as seen in 'All My Children'.

4] And this really doesn't involve Toobworld as such. I just wanted to say that I've always enjoyed the work of George Wyner, but that he's come to be such a dependable character actor in everything he does that I'm guilty of taking him for granted. Well, tonight, he really knocked it out of the park with his portrayal of Dr. Steiner the coroner, and I was truly moved by that last scene in the episode between Steiner and Patrick Jane......

BCnU!

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"DID YOUR FATHER COME FROM IRELAND?"

For Saint Patrick's Day, we've got an Irish TV character to showcase:

MORGAN SYLVESTER O'ROURKE, SR.

Wild Eagle:
Sergeant, what happened to you?
You look terrible. You look bad.
You look like you got one foot in happy hunting ground!

Agarn:
This ain't Sergeant O'Rourke. It's his father.

Wild Eagle:
Your son should look so good.

Sgt. O'Rourke's father came to visit Fort Courage (otherwise known as 'F Troop') when his son was out of town. He soon turned the place into "Little Ireland" and tried to transform the soldiers into a fire brigade.

He also kept pestering Corporal Agarn if he was sure that he wasn't Irish. Finally exasperated, Agarn declared that okay, he was Irish.

"You don't look it," said Mr. O'Rourke.

Sgt. O'Rourke got back just in time to say good-bye to his father as he was about to go home.
Sure, an' BCnU!

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NEW 2 VIEW @ TOOB HQ

This isn't my collection, but 'twill serve until I load up a few pictures of the "library" at Toobworld Central.....

Here's the latest collection of DVDs to arrive at Toobworld Central....

'DOWNTON ABBEY'
This is the original version as seen on the BBC, not re-edited to fit the 'Masterpiece Theatre' format. Because my brother enjoyed the series as much as I did, I'm saving this for when I'm on vacation up at the Lake; we can watch an episode each night after he gets out of work at the newspaper.....

'ALIAS SMITH AND JONES' - Seasons 2 and 3
I wasn't sure I really wanted to get this, since Pete Duel committed suicide and was replaced by Roger Davis. (I was pretty distraught over his death back in high school.) But I've reconciled myself to the situation and would like to see how the rest of Davis' episodes played out. (I've only seen a few.....)

'LOTSA LUCK'
I remember this series and enjoyed it when it was on. I've heard the Britcom on which it was based was better, but still - Dom DeLuise was always a fave..... At the very least, it should provide a good diversion during my lunch breaks.

'EERIE, INDIANA'
One of the best of the "quirky small town genre" series that should provide some interesting elements for Toobworld research......

BCnU!

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THE HAT SQUAD: JANE RUSSELL

I went looking for a copy of those old Playtex Cross Your Heart Bra commercials in order to celebrate the memory of Jane Russell in Toobworld, but I think this League of Themselves appearance is more fitting.....

Ms. Russell contributed a few characters to the Toobworld registry, in shows like 'Hunter' and 'Death Valley Days', plus others in Skitlandia thanks to her work with Red Skelton. But her best known TV character would have been Rose Hollister (seen at the top) in the modern Western/prime-time soap 'The Yellow Rose'. The Yellow Rose Ranch was named after her by her brother Jeb Hollister......

As Red Skelton probably said on the episodes in which you appeared, "Good night and may God bless."

BCnU....

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NEW 2 VIEW @ TOOB HQ

While I was working on the Sarah Palin ASOTV post, I got a delivery from Amazon!

'SAPPHIRE AND STEEL' - the complete series
I don't remember if this was a Gold Box Deal of the Day or not, but it's a boxed set of 6 DVDs for only fourteen bucks! I've always been intrigued by the idea of this series (starring Joanna Lumley and David McCallum - as aliens, I think?), but have never seen an episode. Definitely moving up the list of lunch break DVDs for work!

'DARK SKIES' - the complete series
The alien conspiracy series that shows how the Hive infiltrated American society since the Roswell crash in 1947. This is going to be rich in screen captchas for the "As Seen On TV" showcase at Inner Toob!

'WHISPERING SMITH' - the complete series
The Audie Murphy TV Western - another show I always wanted to check out and it was a very low price so it was worth the gamble.

'WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE' - the complete series
Another TV western, the one that made Steve McQueen a star.

I may just have to put my Netflix account on hold, with all the stuff I now have to watch in the Toobworld Central library!

BCnU!

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THE THREE JOE CARSONS

As we all know from the theme song, Old Uncle Joe was moving kind of slow at the Junction. "Petticoat Junction", that is, which was the nickname given to the water tower stop in Hooterville. The exact location of Hooterville was never revealed, but I have to figure it to be in the South, but not so far south that they never got snow during the winters.

Wherever Hooterville was, it's most likely that Joe Carson spent most of his life there.

Across the country in Los Angeles, Joey Carson was a baggy pants comic who owned his own nightclub. It was probably a wise business move to ensure he would always have a venue in which to perform. (The public's taste in comedy styles was changing. In the real world, more sophisticated acts like Nichols and May, Lenny Bruce, Mort Sahl, Shelley Berman, and Bob Newhart were coming to the fore. The same probably held true in Toobworld as well. There might even be a few fictional comics like that in various TV shows of the time.) As for where Joey Carson was originally from, it could have been from anywhere in the country, with Los Angeles being a magnet for entertainers to gravitate to.

There's only a fifteen year difference between Uncle Joe and Joey Carson, so a father-son relationship should be ruled out. (I prefer characters to be considered the same age as the actor playing the role, unless specifically stated otherwise.)

Brothers with the same name? It's happened before in Toobworld, with the two Arthur Dales in 'The X-Files' (who also had a sister - as well as a dog! - named Arthur Dales.)

And the fact that Joe Carson of Hooterville was known by everyone as "Uncle" Joe could be taken literally here - that Joey Carson was a nephew.

But I like the idea that they were cousins. Even as first cousins, there could be enough of a distance to their relationship which would make it understandable why Uncle Joe never mentioned his more famous kinfolk.

That they both bore the same name suggests that they were named after another relative of a few generations before. That Joe Carson could have been their grandfather, which would place him in the Civil War era.

And we have one to fit the bill! Joe Carson was an itinerant laborer when we met him in North Fork, a town in the New Mexico territory. He was wrongfully accused of murdering a cowboy for his horse and saddle, but he claimed that he bought them off the victim in Willow Springs. (As it turns out, the real murderer was the cousin of Lucas McCain's late wife.) Joe Carson wandered the West, finding work as a ranch hand, a bronco rider, whatever could make him a bit of money (usually for booze). But eventually he may have gone back home to the Hooterville area and started a family - with at least two sons to carry on the family name. (A close call with the hangman would be enough to sober up any man and make him take stock in his life.)

And somewhere along the way back east to the Hooterville area, never seen by the Trueniverse audience, Joe Carson may have done something to give him the reputation which would make both of his sons proud to name their boys after him.....

So there you have it - yet another Toobworld theory of relateeveety that can't be verified.....

SHOWS CITED:
'Petticoat Junction'
'Burke's Law'
'The Rifleman'

BCnU!

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ROOSTER COGBURN THE THIRD

The nominations for the Academy Awards were announced yesterday morning, and one that "caught my eye" (t'hee) was for Jeff Bridges as Rooster Cogburn in the Coen Brothers' remake of "True Grit".

I saw the movie and thought he was fantastic in the role. But I don't think he stands much of a chance for winning this year, for a couple of reasons.

1) He just won last year for "Crazy Heart".

2) This will be Colin Firth's year, for his role in "The King's Speech".

I'm not sure the fact that John Wayne had already won the Oscar for the same role back in 1969 would be a factor against him. It wouldn't be the first time two actors have won for playing the same role. I can't say it happened before the early 1970's without doing the research - and I'm too lazy today! - but Marlon Brando and Robert De Niro both won Oscars for playing Don Vito Corleone in "The Godfather" and "The Godfather Part Two" respectively. (De Niro's was for Best Supporting Actor.)

But even though this is more relevant for a movie blog, I'm bringing it up because Rooster Cogburn is a TV character as well. In fact, he's a true multiversal, since there's also the source material - Charles' Portis' novel "True Grit".

A pilot for 'True Grit' was made in 1978, with Warren Oates in the role of Rooster Cogburn. Just the year before he also stepped into the shoes of Humphrey Bogart as Charlie Allnut in a TV movie/pilot for "The African Queen" (with Mariette Hartley, I believe).

I've looked around the internet for images or videos of Warren Oates as Rooster Cogburn, but finally realized I'd have to make my own. (The pilot may be available form a bootlegger, but I've yet to bother with looking for one. Again, Toby = Lazy.)

So here's my quickie attempt at a picture of Warren Oates as he might have looked in the role of Rooster Cogburn. It took all of three minutes to slap it together....
I suppose it could have come out better had I spent some time on it, but have I mentioned that I'm lazy?

BCnU!

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THE HAT SQUAD: BILL ERWIN

I have Bill Erwin, Emmy nominated for a guest appearance on 'Seinfeld', listed in the Hat Squad tributes as the last actor to pass away in 2010. However, it looks as though Per Oscarsson of Sweden actually takes that final spot in the roll call - two bodies have been found in the burned ruins of his home and they are believed to be the award-winning octogenarian and his wife.

But even so, I wanted to tip my cap to Mr. Erwin. I've always been a big fan of the character actors and it saddens me deeply every time one of them finally leaves the stage. Not only for the contributions they made to the Tele-Folks Directory of Earth Prime-Time, but because I fear there will never be anyone coming along of their caliber to take their place.

Mr. Erwin is probably best known to TV audiences as he looked as an old man in shows of the last twenty years, like 'Seinfeld' and 'Star Trek: The Next Generation': But he was knocking around in the different time periods of Toobworld for many years, providing many characters to the TV roster.

As an example, here's how he looked in an episode of 'The Rifleman': I'm not sure the argument could be made that his character of Joe Flecker of the Old West was related to Sid Fields of New York City, but he could be an ancestor to Dr. Dalen Quaice who was seen on board the Enterprise.....

Good night and may God bless, good sir.

BCnU....

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"MAUDIEPLICITY": SEND IN THE CLONES

Toobworld Central holds Dr. Miguelito Loveless to be one of the central characters of Earth Prime-Time. If he can't be found physically in a show, we could probably argue his connection behind the scenes.

So when the idea of Maudie Monday came to me over the weekend, I wondered if I could take on the challenge of creating a connection between this great character played by Michael Dunn and any one of the many roles assayed by Maudie Prickett.

As it turns out, I think I did a pretty good job at finding the missing link to most of her TV roles. at least those who were situated in California.....

Although 'The Wild, Wild West' reunion TV movie tried to convince us otherwise, the diminutive doctor lived well into the late 20th Century - if he's not still alive now in Toobworld. (He was last physically seen in 1973, thanks to an episode of 'Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea' which was broadcast in the mid 1960's.)

So he could have been the mastermind behind a cloning experiment just before the outbreak of World War I. And among the test samples which successfully yielded a slew of clones to be raised throughout the state of California (Dr. Loveless' general base of operations, his ancestral "empire") would be all of the Maudie Prickett characters she played in the "contemporary" shows of the 1950's through the 1970's.

McMillan & Wife
– Buried Alive (1974) … Mrs. Chandler

Marcus Welby, M.D.
– The Faith of Childish Things (1974) … Miss James

Room 222
– Pi in the Sky (1973) … Miss Pliny

Call Her Mom
Mrs. Gibbons

What's a Nice Girl Like You...?
Elderly woman

Dragnet 1967
– Narco: Pill Maker (1970) … Mrs. Thelma Benstead
– Burglary Auto: Courtroom (1969) … Mrs. Gloria Chambers

The Mod Squad
– To Linc - With Love (1969) … Clerk

Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.
– The Short Voyage Home (1969) … Miss Paisley
– To Watch a Thief (1967) … Bank Teller
– Gomer and the Phone Company (1966) … Woman

Adam-12
– Log 112: You Blew It (1969) … Mrs. Wilson

The Tammy Grimes Show
– Officer's Mess (1966) … Mrs. Ratchett

My Three Sons
– The Glass Sneaker (1965) … Elsie Stepp
– A Holiday for Tramp (1962) … Brownie

The Jack Benny Program … Miss Gordon, Secretary
(Ten episodes)

Mister Ed
– Unemployment Show (1963) … Miss Pringle

Room for One More
– Out at Home (1962) … Miss Aiken

Ben Casey
– To the Pure (1961)

Checkmate
– The Thrill Seeker (1961)
– The Princess in the Tower (1960) … Mrs. Kaufman
[I've got the two boxed sets for this series, but they feature on the "best of" each season, and apparently neither of these two episodes qualified.]

Angel
– The Dentist (1961) … The dentist's secretary

Bachelor Father
– It Happens in November (1960) … Mrs. Crawford

Schlitz Playhouse
– Way of the West (1958) … Miss Piper
[This may have been a Western and so wouldn't qualify.]

Date with the Angels … Mrs. Cassie Murphy
(Six episodes)

G.E. True Theater
– With Malice Toward One (1957) … Mrs. Simms

The Bob Cummings Show
– Eleven Angry Women (1957)

It's a Great Life
– Denny Buys a Steer (1954) … Alice MacAvity
– The Surprise Party (1954) … Mrs. Grace Johnson Meet Corliss Archer
– The Male Ego (1954) … Mrs. Gale

[I could be wrong about some of these being set in California.....] I'm sure the temptation would be there to create an army of lovely young women, perhaps even cloned from his muse, Miss Antoinette. But the woman he chose to supply his test sample was of solid frontier stock, someone who would prove to be a hard worker. (The genetic source material for these Maudie Prickett clones would have been from one of her TV Western characters. Although the experiment probably took decades of research before implementation, I'd still go with one of her later Western roles, probably from her three different characters from 'Gunsmoke'. Dr. Loveless might have observed how strong her genetic stock was if there were three women in the Dodge City area who all looked alike.)

The U.S. government may have found out about the project and decided to intervene - probably not out of any desire to stop him, but to seize the experiment for themselves. With war on the horizon, seemingly inevitable that the United States would have to intervene, it could be that the shadow power behind the Presidency (maybe even under alien control - decades before the arrival of the Hive as seen in 'Dark Skies') decided that America could use a never-ending source of cannon fodder.

But circa 1914, there were at least two TV characters who would have the gumption and the smarts to put an end to such an experiment before Dr. Loveless could continue and before the government grabbed it for themselves - Quentin Everett Deverill, a scientific genius himself ('Q.E.D.'), and a young lad wise beyond his years who was known by the nickname of Indy ('The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles'). Maybe they teamed up to put an end to this California cloning case.

I'm not saying this is what actually happened. It's just a "pozz'bility", but one which I'm throwing out there for the fanficcers.

And it was all inspired by Maudie Prickett.

BCnU!

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MAUDIE LANG SYNE

Maudie Prickett played many roles in TV Westerns. Some of these frontier women could have been the same woman under different names; perhaps some of them were twin sisters or mother and daughter combinations.

Dirty Sally
– Wimmen's Rights (1974) … Mabel

Gunsmoke
– The River: Part 2 (1972) … Aunt Ida
– P.S. Murry Christmas (1971) … Mrs. Pretch
– By Line (1966) … Mrs. Preeker

Bonanza
– The Pure Truth (1964) … Middle-aged Woman in Bank
– The Tax Collector (1961) … Mrs. Ellery
[It's likely these two women are the same, but it hasn't been verified.]

Wagon Train
– The Duke Shannon Story (1961) … Ethel

Lawman
– The Hoax (1959) … Laura Tate

The Texan
– Private Account (1959) … Maud Avery
[Hrmmm... Maud Avery... in a show called 'The Texan'.... Perhaps a fictional relation to Tex Avery?]

26 Men
– Brief Glory (1958)

Zane Grey Theater
– Legacy of a Legend (1958) … Miss Howland

The Adventures of Kit Carson
– Bad Men of Marysville (1953) … Peggy Aldrich

Hopalong Cassidy
– The Trap (1952) … Maudie

Those were all set in the nebulous time period for the Old West, which could stretch over decades from around the time of the Civil War all the way to the turn of the century.

But she played a character from even farther back as well, and more to the east......

Daniel Boone
– The Sisters O'Hannrahan (1964) … Flavia Tillridge
[I LOVE that name!]

BCnU!

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11/11 TELEFLUVIA

From Andy Borowitz: "Seriously, Heather Locklear could save the White House. 'Melrose Place' was in even worse shape when she moved in."
~
Andrew Scott had a really interesting take on the character of Moriarity in 'Sherlock'. But even so, when I first heard about this production, I had John Malkovich in mind for the Napoleon of Crime......
~
I saw the subway poster for "Skyline" and thought it was starring Terence Howard and Adrian Brody. Then I learned I was looking at the backs of Donald Faison and Eric Balfour, actors better known for their TV work. I guess the movie was strong enough it didn't need movie star names....
~
TV .com is hosting a poll to determine the Best of 2010 when it comes to TV. The choices are too few, some of the choices are just plain odd (Best New Show has 'Blue Bloods' but not 'Rubicon'?) but it's a fun way to waste five minutes: http://www.tv.com/bestof2010/
~
It's been announced that Ron Moore and Naren Shankar are going to create a new version of 'The Wild, Wild West' for CBS, following the network's remake of 'Hawaii Five-O'. Here's what I wrote about that news over at Deadline/Hollywood:

"I wouldn't mind if they take the concept and work within it with an expansion of the original, but with new characters, where it would be acknowledged that Agents West and Gordon are out there somewhere doing the same thing. I never understand why they always have to re-use the character names. There's always going to be resistance to that by fans of the original versions.

I watched the first episode of 'Hawaii Five-O' and liked what they were doing, but didn't bother going back. I would have kept watching the show if it had been a continuation of the original with all-new characters."

I would have accepted that movie version if only the characters were all new instead of recastaways. It may sound racist, but it's a fact - James West is NOT black.

But... here's a casting suggestion. If you are going to bring back Dr. Miguelito Loveless, get Warwick Davis for the role. It'd be nice to see him playing a character who's not buried under a ton of latex for once.....
~
"The Lord Of The Rings" movies aren't TV fodder, but the original book series by Tolkien shaped the course my interests followed, and that includes the Toobworld Dynamic.

Most of the cast has been announced for the first half of 'The Hobbit' movie, and there are a lot of TV names involved: Martin Freeman ('The Office' - UK, 'Sherlock'), Richard Armitage ('North & South', 'Spooks'), James Nesbitt ('Jekyll', 'Cold Feet'), Aidan Turner ('Being Human', 'Desperate Romantics'), Graham McTavish ('24', 'Prison Break', 'Red Dwarf', and a lot of voice-over work), Sylvester McCoy ('Doctor Who'!) and Robert Kazinsky ('EastEnders'). Plus Cate Blanchett, Andy Serkis, and Ian McKellan are all expected to return......

Other names rumored to be involved are Stephen Fry, David Tennant, and coming from some website in Brazil, Leonard Nimoy - despite his announced retirement and recent surgery.

One character still not cast is Balin, probably the second most important dwarf in Thorin's company after Thorin himself. I thought Nesbitt was a big name to get and he's just playing Bofur. So I'm very curious who will finally nab the role as the future "King" of Moria......

BCnU!

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SNATCH THE ZONK FROM MY HAND....

On a recent episode of 'Two And A Half Men', Alan Harper thanked his brother Charlie for all that he had taught him over the years about women (and cheating on them). As such, he called Charlie "sensai", which is "used to show respect to someone who has achieved a certain level of mastery in an art form or some other skill." (Wikipedia)

In response, Charlie said, "You're welcome, Grasshopper" as he slammed the door in Alan's face.

For us in the Trueniverse audience, the mention of "Grasshopper" was supposed to be a call-back to the TV series 'Kung Fu'. When he was a boy, the main character Kwai Chang Caine was often called "Grasshopper" by his teachers at the Shaolin temple. Its most famous, and most parodied, use was in the phrase "Snatch the pebbles from my hand, Grasshopper."

(I said "snatch". Heh heh. Heh heh. Heh heh.)

But for the inner "reality" of Toobworld, there should be a different reason why Charlie called Alan a grasshopper.

And I think it's just because Alan reminded him of the insect......

BCnU!

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STEELE BIRTH

Back in the 1870's Bret Maverick was set up to be the fall guy in a bank robbery by Molly Gleason and her boyfriend Ralph Jordan (who worked at the bank and was the bank owner's nephew). In protecting the bank (if only to save his own skin), Maverick killed Ralph in a shoot-out. Molly was taken into custody by the sheriff (who was once infatuated with her), and may have spent a good part of her life in prison. I have no clue as to when she eventually died.

In Toobworld, reincarnation is an established fact - it's right there in the lyrics to the 'My Mother The Car' theme song:

About 100 years later, the souls of Ralph Jordan and Molly Gleason were briefly re-united in Los Angeles. But Ralph's spirit may have been reborn at least once before its present incarnation as private eye Joe Mannix, giving it time for its karma to cleanse itself and move on in spiritual growth. Unfortunately, the soul of Molly Gleason, now reborn as an Australian two-timer named Sheila Sprague, did not achieve that cleansing growth. She was still as corrupt as she had been back in the 1870's.

There was no spark in which these two souls suddenly recognized each other - Ralph Jordan had moved on and Joe Mannix had no spiritual memory of that past life. When he saw Sheila Sprague, known to her new lover as "Angel", Joe Mannix only saw her as a double-crossing tramp who put the life of her former lover in danger.

Joe Mannix is still with us in Toobworld and a sure candidate for inclusion in the TV Crossover Hall Of Fame. ('Mannix', 'Here's Lucy', 'Diagnosis Murder') The soul of Joe Mannix will probably move on and have no further need to return to life in Toobworld after the private eye passes away. But Sheila Sprague, like the actress who played her (Karen Steele) has died. Perhaps her soul has been reborn already; perhaps she is on her way to cleansing her karma.

In all likelihood, however, it will take several centuries for her to finally rid herself of those past inclinations. But as we will one day see, somewhere around 2266 in the Toobworld timeline, Molly Gleason/Sheila Sprague, known in the future as Eve McHuron, was finally beginning to break free of her larcenous ways.

(Eve McHuron on the left, with the other two "Mudd's Women")

Baby, we were born to re-run!

BCnU!

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THE FINAL FRONTIER

So that's it for the August TV Western theme.

Here are a few topics for posts that I never got around to finishing the research:

BRECK'S BAD BOY
A look at Doc Holliday, as played by Peter Breck in six episodes of 'Maverick'. Hopefully I can find a way to let him stay in Earth Prime-Time as Holliday along with Douglas Fowley (the official Doc Holliday of Toobworld, from 'The Life And Legend Of Wyatt Earp').

KANSAS COUSINS
Can Earth Prime-Time support both Pete Duel and Roger Davis as Hannibal Heyes?

THE FIRST HANNIBAL HEYES
If both versions of Hannibal Heyes exist at the same time, why would their family saddle them both with that name? I think it goes back to the American Revolution and a Hessian deserter......

If the Good Lord lets me hang around for another year, I'll hopefully have them done next August.

BCnU!

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OUR PAPPY, WHO ART IN HEAVEN... MAYBE

What the hell.... I know the rest of the posts today were centered around Mark Twain, but I couldn't help myself to one last article about 'Maverick' to finish off the TV Western theme.

And since it concerns another writer, one played by Kevin McCarthy who also portrayed Mark Twain on TV, why not?

Thanks to my fellow Iddiot, the Kryptonian Uncle Brian-El, I now have my own copy of "Between Time And Timbuktu" which was based on the various stories by Kurt Vonnegut.

My favorite character in the tele-play is the gentle holy man in the forests of San Lorenzo, Bokonon. A lot of this can be attributed to the fact that Kevin McCarthy played the role.

Bokonon was something of a con man, not unlike the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz; only instead of floating down onto the island of San Lorenzo in a balloon, he washed up on its shores some 47 years before we meet him. (As Stony Stephenson is being tossed about in Time and Space via the Chrono-Synclastic Infundibulum, we have no clue as to when in Time he meets Bokonon. But I do like to think it's on Earth Prime-Time.)

No matter the intent Vonnegut had in mind for Bokonon in his original incarnation - the Literary Universe - we only deal with the televersion. And it occurred to me that he might be related to one of the most famous families in all of the Old West.

I think Bokonon could be descended from the Mavericks.

Here he is, washed ashore in a foreign land with no means to take care of his needs. Does he try to get a real job, make some money? Hardly. Instead he takes the L. Ron Hubbard approach.....

"When I washed ashore on this island, I found a people almost crushed by poverty and political repression. I have given them a religion of harmless lies, and you can see how happy they are." - Bokonon

With his religion came the best-seller: "The Books of Bokonon". It's filled with such aphorisms as:

"When the truth of your life is too terrible, that truth becomes your enemy."

and

"You have to be careful what you pretend to be.... Because one day you may wake up to find that's what you are."

Those are the types of sayings one would expect to hear being quoted as being the words of wisdom from Beauregard "Pappy" Maverick, the head of the Maverick clan back in the mid-1800's. He was known for the following "Pappyisms":

"Some men are afraid of the dark, and some men are afraid to leave it."

"A coward dies a thousand deaths, a hero dies but one. - A thousand to one is pretty good odds."

"A man does what he has to do - if he can't get out of it."

"Early to bed and early to rise’ is the curse of the working class."

"If at first you don't succeed, try something else."

"If you haven't got something nice to say about a man, it's time to change the subject."

"Love your fellow man, and stay out of his troubles if you can."

"Man is the only animal you can skin more than once."

"Marriage is the only game of chance I know of where both people can lose."

"Never cry over spilled milk... it could've been whiskey."

"Son, stay clear of weddings because one of them is liable to be your own."

And those aren't bad proverbs on which to found a religion.

Somewhere along the branch of that family tree, I'd hazard a guess that a veteran of the Civil War married into the Maverick clan. (Well, the odds would suggest there'd have to be a girl Maverick eventually.) And that man would be later known as Walter Jameson; he'd go on to outlive most of his in-laws and probably all of his children and grandchildren as well.
It would be his introduction into the Maverick genetic line that would account for the... Face of Bokonon, as it were.....

SHOWS CITED:
"Between Time And Timbuktu"
'Maverick' - "Pappy" (many others)
'The Twilight Zone' - "Long Live Walter Jameson"

BCnU!

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A MARK TWAIN QUOTE

As seen in the opening of the 'Bonanza' episode "The Twenty-Sixth Grave".......

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