'TRUE BLOOD' 3.4 - "9 Crimes"

It still feels like there's 20-minutes of worthwhile plot and 30-minutes of idle nudging in True Blood third season. Where's the hook, zip and swagger of the two previous seassons gone? This year's so-called big stories (Bill's disappearance, the vampire king's political manoeuvring with werewolves?) still haven't grabbed my interest, as the show continues to jump around between the numerous storylines it has in play, or else introduce yet more characters in a world-building exercise I'm not convinced is necessary. They're clearly struggling to give the existing cast material, why swell your ranks so much? Sure, there's barely a moment where something's not happening to keep your eyes busy, but my mind's beginning to wander now...

"9 Crimes" at least ended with confirmation that vampire king Russell Edgington (Denis O'Hare) is providing a pack of werewolves with precious vampire blood, as part of a deal he struck with them a long time ago. I get the impression Edgington's going to use his army of obedient werewolves to conquer the neighbouring Louisiana state from fellow royal Sophie-Anne, but hopefully there's more to it than that. I mean, it was hardly unexpected that the vampire king in league with werewolves because he was introduced with a small pack of them as his "dogs" back in episode 2.

The biggest frustration in this episode was seeing Sookie's (Annie Paquin) peculiar reaction to being dumped by Bill (Stephen Moyer) via phone call. Considering Sookie/Bill has been the heart of True Blood from the start (even as the show's morphed into more of an ensemble), I was astonished to find that Sookie sulked for only a few scenes and then dived headfirst into a plot about helping her werewolf bodyguard Alcide (Joe Manganiello) reunite with his own former-lover, Debbie Pelt (Brit Morgan) -- by getting a bad-ass makeover courtesy of Alcide's tattooed sister (Dawn Olivieri). If the intention here was for us to think Sookie's just refusing to believe Bill, or wants to distract herself by playing matchmaker, then it wasn't handled badly by writers Kate Barnow and Elisabeth Finch. It just didn't feel like Sookie reacted plausibly to Bill's bombshell.

The other storylines were of mild interest, but everything still feels very disconnected and more tedious than it should be after four hours. Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) attracted hick trouble with his fancy new sports car, but was rescued from a beating by Eric (Alexander Skarsgård); Tara (Rutina Wesley) has found herself an abusive "boyfriend" in creepy vampire Franklin (James Frain), whom it was unsurprisingly revealed works for Edgington; Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) took a waitressing job at the understaffed Merlotte's, only to be spotted by a young man from her human life; Lorena (Mariana Klaveno) believes she's finally broken Bill's infatuation with Sookie, unaware that he's plotting to have her killed after he helps Edgington dethrone Sophie-Anne; the Magister (Zeljko Ivanek) was tipped off about Eric selling vampire blood and arrived to search Fangtasia, forcing Eric and Pam (Kristin Bauer) to pin the blame on missing Bill; Arlene (Carrie Preston) fretted about her pregnancy, as if anyone cares; Jason (Ryan Kwanten) met a young pretender to his social crown in Bon Temps, then tried to blackmail Andy (Chris Bauer) into letting him become a cop without the rigmarole of procedure; and Sam (Sam Tramell) agreed to help his homeless parents get on their feet, after coming to an agreement with his brother (Marshall Allman) over their behaviour.

I'm still prepared to give True Blood the benefit of the doubt, because it took me five episodes to settle into the show back when it started, but I think season 3's having definite problems with its chosen storylines. Is Club Dread (the book this season's based on) one of the weaker tomes from Charlaine Harris, partly explaining Alan Ball's difficulty in adapting and improving it? I'm not sure myself, but it's clear to me that this year lacks an easily comprehensible problem and the way it's tackling its mystery with Edgington and the werewolves isn't working for me. Added to that, I'm struggling to feel anything for Sam and Jason's storylines (the latter is proving that Jason's a fun character it's a nightmare to create storylines for that aren't repetitive), and right now the only truly satisfying element of season 3 has been Franklin. English vampires are just cooler, right?

I still have hope that Eric's storyline with the illegal selling of V and Edgington's plans with the werewolves will knit together in a satisfying way by mid-season, but I really need to see some stronger sense of drive and purpose now. There's a lot going on, but I'm finding it hard to care, and occasional scenes with Sookie in her underwear or people's heads being twisted backwards during sex isn't enough.

Asides

• I spoke about this last season, but in a world where vampires are a known element, I'm still struggling to see why there isn't a process for humans who have been turned into vampires. It just makes no sense to me that Jessica can't return home to her human parents, given True Blood's entire concept. The least the show could do is stress that vampires have promised mankind they won't create more vampires, so that's why they have to keep any new bloodsuckers a secret.
• In one scene, Jessica grumbled that she'll never be able to legally serve alcohol because she'll always be under-18. A good line and a funny idea, but again rather silly given the reality of the series. Surely there would be a way to keep track of a vampire's true age when it comes to working regular jobs? Or would all child vampires be expected to stay in school forever, etc?
• I loved the post-coital moment with Lorena, when she cricked her neck, following last week's jaw-dropping sexual acrobatics. In fact, Lorena's been one of this season's better characters. There's something delightfully twisted about her obsession with Bill and Klaveno makes a sly, convincing villain. True Blood's own bunny boiler.
• Debbie Pelt is played by Brit Morgan, who some viewers might remember from The Middleman. Debbie's a world away from Morgan's effervescent role there – skanky makeup, swearing, and crowd-surfing while being stripped to her underwear by greasy bikers!

WRITERS: Kate Barnow & Elisabeth Finch
DIRECTOR: David Petrarca
GUEST CAST: Marshall Allman, Mariana Klaveno, Todd Lowe, Denis O'Hare, Jim Parrack, Lindsay Pulsipher, William Sanderson, Zeljko Ivanek, Grant Bowler, Joe Manganiello, Brit Morgan, Tanya Wright, Theo Alexander, James Frain, Gregory Sporleder, J. Smith-Cameron, Cooper Huckabee, Don Swayze, Natasha Alam, James Harvey Ward, Grey Damon, Jade Tailor, Dawn Olivieri, John Rezig, Eric Jungmann, Carlson Young & Kevin Fry
TRANSMISSION: 11 July 2010 - HBO, 9PM